He abuses alcohol

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
He abuses alcohol
5
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 5:21pm

I am not sure how to handle this and I need an objective opinion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 5:33pm

Welcome to the board jessica_collegegirl,


Since he wants you to speak up, I think it would be wise to know what your bottom line is....and tell him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 6:26pm
Would he be willing to go for help for the alcohol use?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 9:52am

<< Am I crazy to have faith that this will work out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 11:39am
According to one of the testaments of my Relationship Bible Library, Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis, addiction (including alcoholism) is a "FATAL FLAW" that is not necessarily the end of a relationship. But, and this is absolutely vital, he must be willing to do whatever it takes in order to overcome his addiction or you must be able to say "goodbye" to him. Addicts do not recognize they have a problem until it becomes someone else's problem. Offering to cook you breakfast is not offering to fix his addiction, that is placating you and drawing your attention away from the real problem. Tell him to stop drinking entirely (NOT just "cut back"), IN ADDITION TO attending Alcoholics Anonymous or seeing a drug/alcohol abuse counselor. That needs to be your mandatory requirement for staying in this relationship. I know it's hard. I'm sorry you're going through this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 10:42pm

<< Addicts do not recognize they have a problem until it becomes someone else's problem. >>


Actually, I'd like to tweak this statement slightly.