He always has last word, need to repeat
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| Tue, 05-06-2008 - 12:08pm |
I'm brand new to Ivillage but figured I would give it a try. I recently moved to a new city to be closer to my boyfriend and our relationship has changed from long distance to seeing each other every day. Fortunately/unfortunately I'm starting to notice some of his habits that I wasn't aware of before. Every time we have a conversation he insists on having the last word and will often repeat himself 10 times in one conversation as long as his opinion is the last heard. It's starting to drive me crazy! I've pointed it out but he doesn't listen and doesn't do anything about it. The other thing he's doing is always trying to be "right" or "correct" me while I'm talking. I mentioned that something cost $65 during a story and he had to interrupt to say "no, it's $70". It was irrelevant to the story to correct me, but he still felt the need. Telling him it bothers me hasn't worked, and I don't want to seem like I'm nagging if I continue telling him.

"How can I tell him this bothers me"
I don't understand... Can you not just say "it bothers me when you do this"? Because that's pretty much exactly how I would word it.
I understand where you're coming from. My husband will go on and on saying the same thing, sometimes rephrasing it slightly, and it sounds like a broken record. He interrupts me sometimes and when I do it to him he gets mad. He thinks he is always right and he too likes to have the last word. If I try to say what I think he looks the other way and ignores me.
My theory... They probably think that if they say it enough it will be true or is true.
Men like to be right because it gives them confidence and a sense of control.
To solve the problem, don't say "you" because he'll get on the defensive - like my husband. Anyway, just say that you feel like you aren't being heard and that while he has a right to his opinion, you do too. You can also try during an argument to repeat what he's saying like - "Oh, yes I understand that you feel that (blah blah blah - whatever he said) but I think (blah blah blah)" this lets them know that you heard them and understand and hopefully it will break the cycle.
Hope this helps.
Welcome to the board cara6363,
My guess is that he's unaware (even if you have told him) how much it bothers you.
When he repeats himself, he