He answers my phone calls unwillingly
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| Mon, 08-20-2007 - 9:28pm |
I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year and today is our 1 year anniversary and he is out of town to visit family. My problem with him is that I feel that I am not important and worthy to him. Whenever I call him, and I call from 0-3 times a day, he answers like he is annoyed, "Yes??" and when other friends call him, particularily females, he would answer with such enthusiam.
I am 5 years younger than he is. I tell him over and over that it bothers me that he answers my calls like that and he NEVER changes.
Sometimes I feel that if I was stronger then I can leave him. I do love him, and he does love me, but I feel like I am giving 100% and he is giving half ass love.
The only people he answers the phone so rudely to is his mom and dad...and I told him that and said it is because I am special, and I thought that was bull sh*t!
How can I get him to not answer my calls so rudely?
I did delete his number out of my phone to prevent me from callin him, b/c I found a pattern that when he hasn't heard from me in days he will respond, "Hi baby!" "Hello, baby!!!"
Maybe I should not say that he give me half ass love...maybe I am just too dependent on him and I need to find my own identity that does not involve him, b/c I am an individual after all!
So what do you think about this: I need to find a life that does not involve my bf while I don't call him, and wait for him to call...

Angel, without knowing the content of your calls it's hard to say why he might be answering in this manner. However, the fact that the only other people who he answers to like this are his parents, makes me think that he feels you're on his case. Your other comment about him being enthusiastic when you've had a break from calling makes me even more confident of this guess. The only other option would be that he feels you call him too much.
Tell me, how often does he call you?
And I don't suppose you've got any jealousy/insecurity issues?
I think you are right when you say that you need to find a life that doesn't revolve around calls to your boyfriend and seeing him. It will be healthy for you and will give him the space he needs.
Phone calls aside, I'm wondering about your comment on his "half ass love". What does he do (other than the phone call issue) that makes you feel unappreciated?
Edited 8/21/2007 6:38 am ET by iv_aisha2004
Welcome to the board invincible_angel,
I think you are right. I think you do need to get a life. Stop calling him.
I do do things that do not involve my bf but I feel like he is on my mind way too much, and I want to change that. I don't choose to be needy insecure and jealous, okay? I don't wake up thinking I want to get attention. I am in my early twenties and I live on my own, I am holding a double major, and I am 5'0 and only 97 lbs. I am beautiful, smart, and fun to be around. I have plenty of friends. It is just that having friend and a significant other is different. There is love comming from intimacy, and it feels that it fulfills an essential need.
I use to be in denial of how needy, jealous and insecure I was/am but now I will admmit that to anyone who ask me about my personal life. Like Dr. Phil said, "You cant change what you don't acknowledge."
You don't know whatI would give to be a confident and secure person. Here are the things I would like to be able to do:
A) Not call him unless if I need to (to pick me up or if his house is on fire, lolz...)
B) If he is flirting in a friendly way with a girl, or visa versa, I would be cool with it, and not even feel jealous on the inside, b/c I would be secure in our relationship that I do not need to worry about outside forces considering that friendly flirting is harmless and I can do it too.
C) No give a crap if he keeps pics of his female friends. They are all clothed and innocent anyways! I have pics of my guy friends; it is just that he has more of his female friends b/c he is a pack rat!
I know what you are thinking: If this girl (me) can name all these things and do them, then why does she act insecure sometimes?
Well....I am bipolar. The last message was when I was in my down mood. And what was mentioned really did happen. I was mad at my bf for answering the phone "yes?" and cried myself to sleep.
At this moment I came home to a good day and I can rationalize correctly. Yes I do take medication, and a stable dose too. I don't choose to take more because it is not good for me.
When bad things happen to me (I had a crummy day at work) I tend to get needy and call my bf, and he does not respond in the best way...well...that day I called b/c it was our 1 year anniversary! So I had the right to be angry.
Yes being angry is one thing but crying all day and not focusing on HW is another....
You have no idea how much I give to be stronger!