Is he being selfish or is he right?
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Is he being selfish or is he right?
| Tue, 05-15-2007 - 9:55pm |
Hello. Here's my situation. I am in love with a much younger man. I know there is a board for that, but I think this one is more appropriate. The thing is we have been together for about two years. We have an awesome relationship and believe we are soul mates despite our age difference. However, he is just starting out, just got his own place last year, just enrolled in college and doing things he should. On the other hand I'm quite established already, finished school and more or less ready to settle down. But because I love him so, I'm patient and I don't pressure him in any way. He tells me he is working to get his life on track so that he can be the responsible man I need and be my man. I'm starting to get annoyed when he talks of us being together in the future tense, when I feel that we are together now. We spend every weekend together, and most week nights, we look out for each other, and he's built a strong relationship with my son so I don't understand why he keeps telling me we will officially be a couple soon. The only people that don't know about us is his parents. They know about me and I've met them both, but he hasn't told them he's in love with me. Does that mean he really isn't as in love as I thought he was? I'm thinking of breaking things off to see how he reacts or to get him to realize that I won't just sit here and wait indefinitly, and then I think that that's not fair, because he has a legitimate reason for waiting. Plus, we've tried to break up before and can't stay away from each other. Also, I don't want him to do anything he's really doesn't want to do, but on the other hand I don't want to put myself in a position to be taken for granted. He's even been trying to get me pregnant so that I don't leave (childish I know, but he knows that I do want to have a baby and my clock is ticking). What should I do, wait and be the "understanding" girlfriend or stand up for myself?

I don't understand what you mean by talking about your relationship in the future tense. If you're looking for marriage and he's not, that's one thing, if he won't acknowledge that you're a couple that's something else.
Discuss your concerns with him. Him trying to get you pregnant and you threatening to leave to get his reaction are juvenile behaviors that won't resolve anything.
Welcome to the board mystifying1,
::They know about me and I've met them both, but he hasn't told them he's in love with me.
I'm confused.... I don't tell my parents when I'm 'in love' with someone. If I'm dating them and they see us together, well I'm not sure why that's not enough.