is he boring or am I too needy??
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is he boring or am I too needy??
| Sat, 01-19-2008 - 5:40pm |
Okay so I started to date this guy and in the beginning i was completely intriuged by his masculinity and mysterious quiet side. He is absolutely everything i asked for... he is 110% understanding in fact i when i jokingly told him that he cannot ever be my #1 because its reserved for my bestfriend/cousin he said that its totally cool because he understands that bond that we share and he wouldnt want to intrude, yea sounds great but i want him to fight for me =/ also he is incrediably sweet and intensely adorable i just feel like we lack some sort of spark i want him to be more outgoing and spontaneous ... i cant tell if he is even into me because he is so calm when were together, but i took him to a party and he just gazed into my eyes like i was the only girl in the room but even when were alone the conversation is missing something ...... am i crazy? am i being too much of an analyitical virgo or could it even be a fright of getting into a relationship... HELP!!!

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Some people feel something is wrong if there is not upset, conflict and struggle in the relationship. If the person isn't clinging and jealous, if they are too kind, sweet and giving, then something feels off. However, this just comes from an addiction to having trouble in a relationship, and as you wisely say, a fear of having the love and closeness you want. Stop trying to change him. Loving someone is about enjoying and accepting them as they are. He doesn't exist in this world to meet your laundry list of qualifications, but to share who he is. If you don't like who he is, then find someone different. But, from the way you describe the situation, my guess is that you are thrilled you've found him and are probably just scared of getting involved in something so different for you.
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