He broke up with me

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
He broke up with me
1
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 9:17am
I posted yesterday about my bf creating a huge argument over $13.00. Then he made the argument even worse by thinking that because I had a headache and was not talking, that I was pouting. Anyway, the issue w/ the $13.00 was that he had paid for something one day and when I tried to give the money back to him, he wouldn't accept it. So I put it safely away in his room, so that one day he would find it. I didn't mean anything bad by it. I thought it was all so innocent, but apparently not. So last night he broke up with me because he said that I lied to him about the $13.00. How could this be a major issue? I even told him where the $13.00 was b/c he said that if I told him then we could forget about the argument and everything would go back the way it was. When I told him, he said that he was mad becaus I let it gone on too long. It was maybe 3 weeks. And I never mentioned the flipping $13.00 ever. I am so baffled as to why a man, who claims to have such deep feelings for me, would break up with me because I gave him back $13.00. I guess I did it a devious way. I don't understand why he left me. I apologized so many times.
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 10:29am

Obviously there are much deeper problems here and the $13 was only a trigger point. Clearly there is a problem in the way the two of you communicate - He was upset that this went on for such a long time. What went on was simple mis-communicatiion and misunderstanding between the two of you. Feelings built up in him at that time and have probably been building up during the entire course of the relationship and they came to a head and he decided to break up.


Unfortunately, unless two people can communicate with one another openly and honestly on an on-going basis, be heard and truly listen, this kind of thing happens often. You need not continue to apologize to him because you didn't do anything so terrible. His upset is not about the $13, but about the way things are generally handled between the two of you. Both are involved in this dance of non-understanding.


If you care to, you can let him know that the problem has to do with other things and if he wants to work out his feelings and