he cheated on his girl w/ me

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2004
he cheated on his girl w/ me
3
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 8:35pm
my best friend who is a guy and has lived me for almost a year has had a girlfriend for 6 month's. recently, we had intercourse out of the blue/unexpected. he cheated on his girl! and he told me he is in love. i am taking it well. she stays the night at our house often. he is only 21 and i dont think he realizes what real love is. when i talk about liking guys myself, he does not support me and changes the subject. What is going on?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 10:31pm
You have to realize what you are responsible for here. You helped a guy cheat on his girlfriend. However unexpeced it was, you allowed it to happen, right?

Why are you analyzing what he says or doesn't say? Do you like him as more than a friend? Do you want this to develop into something more because if you do you are heading for disaster. This mans cheats on his girlfriend which doesn't make him boyfriend material. Do you think he wouldn't do the same to you?

'i dont think he realizes what real love is.'

Why do you think this and why do you care?

You are in a weird situation cohabitating with him, being his best friend, wantiong more and liking a man who doesn't have a whole lot of respect for women. Can you live like this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2004
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 10:40pm
to ciao... i have been best friends w/ him for 5 years. for some reason i believe that he is lying to him self about loving me, sometimes i feel like he is scared to persue me because what we have is so awesome, i think he is scared to hurt is girl and come out with the truth, he said he had no regrets w/ me. though, a part of me feels..he must not love her ofcourse to cheat on her, and he cant love me - or he would pursue me. it doesnt hurt anymore, i used to be crazy 4 him, but got use to him having a woman. obviously he does not know what he wants, but i cant understand why he thinks he is in love to do such a thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 2:47pm
You are probably right, he doesn't know what love is with you or with her. Plus he's safe - he's got a girlfriend, he can hide behind her and not have to have a relationship with you or he may just be acting out his passion and you were there, he felt close to you, etc. Not supporting you when you talk about other guys, well, that says he's not the greatest friend or doesn't like the feeling that come up in him when you talk about other guys.

This one has heartache written all over it until he's a bit more mature and knows what he really wants. Good luck to you.

PS He cheated on her, what does that say about his integrity? You also allowed it to happen, knowing he had a girlfriend, what does that say about your integrity? Also, you've just sent the universal message out that it's ok to cheat....you will reap what you sow.


Edited 8/11/2004 2:49 pm ET ET by itwinflame


Carrie