He cheated..Now......
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He cheated..Now......
| Sat, 05-29-2004 - 5:38pm |
I will try to make this as short as I can..We have been together for almost 2 yrs..We are in the process of buying our own (first) home together(itll be time for closing in 30 days)...At the beginning of our relationship, I lived 50 miles away..he cheated..i moved back and then found out about it..He still wont admit everything, even tho i know..he told me he wanted me and her both..I forgave him..Well, last night i brought up him and her being friends again(asking him if he wants that) JUST to see what he would say, and he informed me he does want to talk to her again cuz she is "fun"...Im hurt,but i feel somewhat to blame considering i brought this up..and it backfired..I am freaking here, dont know what to do say or think..Any advice??

Number 2: You have a right to know every little detail about everything that happend, and he needs to tell you.
Number 3: If he doesn't give you the respect by him telling you himself, then you don't need him... I know you have made a comitment for the house, but he made a comitment to you too! It isn't fair to you that he cheated on you and the fact he won't talk about it means he still has some kind of feelings for her which isn't right on his part to keep leading you on.... I would honostly talk to him point blank, cuz you don't want to be stuck buying a house that you picked out together if you aren't together... right?!?
Write me back if I have helped at all...
I would not buy a house with him. Consider this a blessing in disguise that it happened now and not when it is too late.
You deserve better!
I will start by saying that its not *your* fault that *he* cheated. that was HIS choice, and HIS responsibility.
HOWEVER, from this point forward, things that happen ARE your responsibility. and you say that you forgive him - but then you bring it up again. you need to either let this (the cheating) GO - or you cannot continue in this relationship.
have you (two) been to counseling after the cheating? I personally don't see how any relatinship can continue after cheating without professional help. its not enuf for you to say "i forgive you" and for him to say "i'm sorry".
definately - DO NOT buy a house together unless you are SURE about the relationship.
You aren't protecting yourself. I know you are curious what he thinks about her now, because you haven't been able to forget that he cheated on you. And that is why you brought it up with him.
Have you talked to him about what he wants with you? Because if he wanted the both of you back then, what makes that change now? It sounds like you are sacrificing yourself for this man that wants EVERYTHING. No wonder you are curious and can't trust him...
In my opinion, if someone cheats on you and you stay with them, boundaries have to be set up to make you feel secure. But mostly, that person has to fight for your relationship, prove to you that it won't happen again and that there is no reason it would happen again. This man hasn't done that.
-amy- "CL-fiesty"