Is he cheating?
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 04-15-2008 - 7:16am |
I've been with my now fiance for 2 years and we've recently had a baby girl. While i was pregnant i started gettong really jealous if he talked to other girls i knew it was stupid but i just put it down to hormones.
I got really jealous that he had ex girlfriends. Its ridiculous because he stood by me all through me accusing him and being horrible to him. I don't know why i keep getting these feelings that he's cheating on me because he tells me he loves me everyday he tells me how beautiful i am etc i really wish i didn't feel this way
After the baby was born i felt like he was really distant with me, im still getting the jealous feelings when i see him laughing and joking with other girls. I know he loves me and he would do anything for me but a few weeks ago he said to me lets not have sex as much and then it will be more special. The first thing that went through my head was OMG he must be getting it from somewhere else thats why he doesn't want it fro me as much.
Is it just me jumping to the wrong conclusion or is he cheating?
How can i get rid of these feelings?

He's most likely not cheating and its extremely natural from what I've heard for men (or for you both) to feel distant after a birth. Think about it. How much does that baby rely on you once she's born? You feed and nurture, a baby's natural connection is mostly to you for the 1st few months. Of coarse a man would feel distant if all he's doing is changing diapers and trying to be the only thing he CAN be at that moment; emotional support. Plus pretty much everyone feels 'off' trying to adjust to something new. Babies are the biggest adjustement because now you're two + another. And that 'other' may appear to such up all the you time or your time w/ your partner. Its just like getting a new job. Gotta let yourself feel weird until you get the swing of things. Then (like a job) you'll have routine and learn how to fit yourself and each other time back into the mix.
As for how you feel day to day. Thats some form of disorder. Either anxiety or obsessive in some case. Either way, the average person isn't that obsessed with what their partner is doing. Get help for that if you'd like it not end up in a tiffy. <3
- Ivory
"I got really jealous that he had ex girlfriends."
Welcome to the board newsome87,
From what you wrote, I don't think he is cheating on you. I have a feeling that you haven't gotten your body back to where it was pre-pregnancy and that is causing you to have some low self-esteem and this is where the jealousy is coming from.
My thinking on the not wanting to have as much sex is that he is afraid of having another child at this point.
glitter-graphics.com
glitter-graphics.com
Welcome to the board newsome87,
I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that he's cheating.... more likely, that all your accusing him and jealousy has pushed him away, hence the distance you feel.
"It is almost like the guy gets upset that the kid takes up the time with the mother that used to be his time.