is he cheating ?
Find a Conversation
is he cheating ?
| Tue, 01-13-2004 - 10:53pm |
I am in a gay relationship. My partner does not live with me, he lives 50 miles away, and is stalling on moving in.He lives at home with his parents, and they do not know he is gay.He has been promising to move in for 2 years. I have caught him in more lies than i care to admit. He has a roaming eye and often comments about other guys in front of me. I dont trust him, and believe he is cheating on me. He is a very sexual guy, and that worries me.We have a good time together, but then it ends when he goes home, at least it does for me. He gets irritated when i bring up the subject of moving in up, and often says " it will happen soon". He gives lots of excuses for not moving in, and usually changes the subject....Is love blind here, or am i just plain stupid ???
Edited 1/13/2004 11:10:49 PM ET by matthew2004
Edited 1/13/2004 11:10:49 PM ET by matthew2004

Best Wishes
ab25
The writing is on the wall - you just don't want to read it.
I think you know that this relationship is doomed - you don't trust him for one thing which is vital for the success of a relationship.
Move on - there are more fish in the sea.
Peace - Pebbles
Another reason is because your boyfriend is that the likes the benefits of having a relationship with you being 50 miles away. He likes the stability that you provide and he knows that you are there for him emotionally & sexually - and he finds that comforting. However, he also likes the fact that he can see other men, in his hometown, and not have to worry about running into you or explaining his whereabouts. Hence, this is another reason why he won't move in with you - he likes the comfort of your relationship but doesn't want the commitment that is involved.
At this point - you have some decisions to make. If you truly want to be with this man - then explain to him that things have got to change. Be assertive and let him know what the real deal is on your end - but don't give him ultimatums. His actions will indicate whether or not he is as serious about a relationship with you as you are to him. If he can't commit - then you have no other choice but to end the relationship - because your self-worth is higher than he would like to think it is.
Good luck....
The thing that is alarming is the trust issue. In order for your relationship to bloom there HAS to be trust. Or else you will be too busy worrying what he is doing,who he is with,where is he at. Then, instead of the loving relationship you aspire to what would be created is almost obsession. You must go to him & tell him what you are feeling. Be up front but don't take his nonchalance! Let him know that you are committed to him,you love him,you want to be with him but at the same time do not keep accepting his "It will be soon" bs about moving in. If it has been 2 years, you need to start digging your heels in a bit. Are you always available at his disposal? If so,DON'T BE! When he proceeds to comment on other men at your feelings expense, ask him how he would feel if the tables were turned(also be prepared for an "It wouldn't bother me") which of course is a lie! This must be very hurtful for you!Do not let him string you along. If I were you I'd put it all out there.There are to many other men that will adore you for you & not make you feel so anxious & on edge.
I hope it all pans out for you. Good Luck! Keep Posted too! HUGS!!