is he cheating?
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| Mon, 06-25-2007 - 4:15pm |
I have been dating Brian for 9 months. We met at a club and right away he seemed very interested in me and pursued me with phonecalls and taking me out. Now, 9 months later, he's still attentive and calls me anywhere from 1-4 times per day...he calls me at work and tells me he misses me and is thinking about me or he calls me before he goes to sleep and says that he wants to hear my voice....he gave me a card on my b/day in April and flowers. The card said, to a very special girl, to the woman I know and he also gave me flowers on Valentine's day...he also took me out to dinner on my b/day. He is not abusive and is always kind to me and compliments me....he's a gentle type of guy and he treats me with respect...I have been single for 6 years so I'm so happy to have someone thinking about me and calling me and I don't want to lose that.
I know that's all great but the problem is that I can't see him very often. I have a 9 year old son so I really only invite Brian to my house when my son is spending the weekend with his dad (every 2nd weekend) or one night a week when he's with his dad. I guess the problem is that when my son is gone for the whole weekend I've sort of expected Brian to "move in" for the weekend but he is content to sleep over on Friday night and go for a coffee on Saturday morning for a few hours...then he goes out with his friends on Saturday night...also, a few times I've invited him over at say, 1 in the afternoon, and he shows up at 5 pm and has an excuse that he was helping his parents with something or his car broke down.
I guess I think that Brian is a good guy, he calls me every day but I wonder why he doesn't want to spend more time with me....because of this issue, I have broken up with him about 10 times....I've told him that I'm looking for a very serious relationship and he says he is, and he calls me countless times until I get back with him...he tells me, if I had someone else why would I want you back so bad, even when you tell me to get lost. Also, I've called him at odd times, like 10 pm on a Saturday night, and he answers and there's no noise and he's alone. Or I will call him during the week at 9 or 10 pm and he's either alone watching tv or at a coffee shop with his friends. when I've broken up with him he's called me begging me to get back with him...he always tells me, yeh, if I have another girlfriend, where is she now? when I'm calling you begging you to see me? Obviously I don't have a girlfriend.
I guess I don't know if I'm being paranoid about thinking that he has another girlfriend....since I've started putting the pressure on he is starting to spend more time with me (3 times in the past week) ....maybe he's just a kind of guy who enjoys the company more of his buddies than a woman. How do you tell if someone's cheating or if they just like their space?

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who the he)) does he think he is when he tells you that b/c you have a child that no one will want to be with you???? and what is up with you are to old to go out to clubs????? first off he is a loser by even trying to put you down b/c you have a child and secondly you are NEVER to old to do whatever it is you want to do!!! that just burns my butt to know that people (men or women) try to put someone else down in order to make themwselves feel better. maybe he is to old!!!
i have 2 children and i am in a healthy relationship with a wonderful man and on top of all that i am 38 and he is 24 and we have been together for almost two glorious years. so, don't ever let a man (or anyone) tell you that no one will want you b/c of your son or b/c you are to old!
this guy is not worthy of your energy and he definitely would not be a good role model for your son. you don't want to be responsible for his attitude rubbing off on your son!!!
good luck to you!
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