Is he cheating??

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Is he cheating??
3
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 7:00pm

My boyfriend, Angelo, and I have been together 4 1/2 years. We have a child together. Anyway, he lives in Texas and I live in South Carolina. He was living with me before he got locked up and soon as he got out, he received a phone call from his mother whom he hasn't talked to in years and she suggested/ asked that he move down there to work for him since she owns a furniture. Well, he did just that. I feel that he has left me-- that he could have stayed here and not moved down there, but he felt it was the right thing to do. He says he moved down there to make a better life for Tyler and I-- to make money, so that when my son and I move down there, we will both have a roof over our head, etc. Last I saw him was in March and the last time we had sex was March 31st-- well, I know that that the last time "I" had sex was March 31st, but I don't know about "him"-- I seriously doubt he can go that long without sex/ intimacy. The reason I say this is b/c he says he is a "walking erection." That, and he has cheated on me 4 times (that I know of), with 4 different girls. I believe in the saying, "once a cheater, always a cheater" and that it's bound to happen again (anytime). I believe this because I have cheated, myself, on him twice (once the first year we were together and once (on two different occasions) while he was in jail last year). I haven't cheated on him, though. Just last week (or the week before) he was accusing me, yelling and cursing, accusing me of cheating on him (b/c of the way I talk to him on the phone, leaving him rude messages on his voice mail b/c I would be so furious with him not calling me and checking up on me and his son, like he should-- wouldn't you be?). I believe that when someone accuses you of cheating (steadily) they are guilty because they are doing it themselves. There was this one time where he changed his password on his phone & lied about it (I caught him in a lie). I knew the password to his Sprint Picture Mail account (online) and I go to log on one day and find out that he changed his password and he lies to me about it, saying that his phone is not working right and is messed up. Well, when he take his phone to the store to get it fixed (so he says), he calls me up and tells me that he fixed his phone. I trying logging in and guess what? I get through! Now, tell me what you think of that?? Do you believe that his phone was messed up? Frankly, I think he was hiding something-- he had something in that phone that he didn't want me to see in his messages to in his picture gallery/ video gallery. I think that he had made a home video of him and some girl having sex (since he has done this with us) or took some nudes of her (while she was over at "our" house or vice versa) or both.

Well, here comes the most important part............

When I go to log in in his Sprint Picture Mail, there is a text that was sent to his good ol' buddy/ pal, Jimmy, saying:

"I know, man. I am getting some ass and I will call when she goes home, so chill fool."

after Jimmy sent him a text saying, "You better hurry or you'll be stuck out here with no ride to the beach."

After reading this, I started bawling, but here just yesterday, Angelo was telling me and HAS been telling me that he hasn't been cheating on and me and that I have nothing to worry about and that "I" am the one he is worried about (cheating).

I then call Jimmy and ask him what's going on and what this text is all about. He told me that he went over to Angelo's house today, banging on the door, and that Angelo was sleeping and that he didn't see no girl there and that he hasn't seen Angelo with any girl and that he would let me know or whatnot if he did... in other words, he would tell me, when I did ask him. He said that Angelo was just playin' with him (sending him that text) as a way to getting out of going him to the beach. He said that I really don't have nothing to worry about and that I shouldn't be stressing over it and that Angelo doesn't even have the time to cheat because of his work schedule.

When I do call Angelo, he doesn't ever really want to talk. He always tells me that there in nothing to talk about or that he's really tired and wants to relax or go to sleep. This is his excuse for not calling me, also. He uses that same line-- the "I'm tired" line.

So, now I ask you guys... what do you think of all of this? Do you think he is cheating?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 1:49pm

Hi hightek and welcome to the board,


::When I do call Angelo, he doesn't ever really want to talk. He always tells me that there in nothing to talk about or that he's really tired and wants to relax or go to sleep. This is his excuse for not calling me, also. He uses that same line-- the "I'm tired" line.


Regardless of whether or not he's cheating, it's time to back off and let him do the chasing for a change.




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 4:53pm
This is a very dysfunctional relationship from the get-go. He's verbally assaulting you on the phone. He's psychologically abused used you through the verbal assaults, leaving you, committing a crime, going to jail, cheating on you repeatedly, etc, etc. Is this really the kind of man that you want your son to grow up to be? If your son grows up seeing you treated this way, your son will not only treat you this way, he will believe that that is the proper way to treat a woman- disrespectfully and abusively. Lost him, go to a counselor, get your life in order, and raise you son to be a wonderful, caring man!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 12:39pm

everyone is right - leave him now!!

how long can u keep let him go on disrespecting u like this!??!