Is he cheating on me with my friend?
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 08-04-2007 - 6:16pm |
I'm having problems in my marriage. We've had a rough 2 years and I think my husband may have feelings for a friend of mine who used to be a good friend of mine. She is constantly firting with him and he just melts. I've caught him staring at her and playfully trying to hug her during our Christmas Eve dinner party. I've confronted him with my concerns and he is constantly telling me that he has no feelings for her and that she is just a friend. A friend whom he won't stop talking to even though I've asked him to. He also says that he doesn't remember ever trying to put his arms around her during Christmas, even though this is true and I saw him with my own eyes. When this friend is around us, she has tried turning us against one another and wierd enough is constantly asking me to get pregnant with her at the same time. You see, she is also a married woman. My husband denies what I see and hear all of the time. If I never saw anything than that would be one thing, but I have seen them and it worries me too death. I don't understand why this woman wants to be pregnant with me at the same time! What's that all about? She never calls to see how I'm doing since I've moved back home and now she wants us to share our pregancies together? What is she really up to and why can't my husband remember anything he's said or done in the past?
I'm really looking forward to hearing back from someone who can be helpful. I'm in desperate need of advice.

I am fairly new to this board, but this just struck a cord w/ me so I thought I would respond. I have been through the same thing and I was pregnant at the time. The woman my husband and I were friends with actually lived w/ us for a short time. She was single. She, in my opinion and by her own omission, desired lots of attention and met that need through my husband. She would come to him and ask for advice, even though she never took any of it to heart and would constantly flirt w/ him in front of me and and behind my back. My husband denies anything physical happened between them, but does admit that there was an emotional connection between them. He has told me that since we have broken off contact w/ her, he has no one other than me to confide in or talk to. It upsets me b/c this woman tried to break us apart and he eventually saw this and distanced himself from her. He also continually told her that he did not "like" her the way she appeared to like him. It has taken a great toll on our marriage and we are working through it w/ basically no contact w/ this other woman. My husband is blissfully naive and doesn't even realize when he is being hit on. I would be very cautious around this person. I usually have a very good sense about people and I distrusted this woman from the moment i met her, although she did fool me for a long time. While I was pregnant, i confronted my husband and he told me over and over that nothing was going on and he would even defend her actions to me. Let me tell you, this does not help a marriage and only served to make us more distant from each other. It may be that he is just defensive and doesn't want to see that he is getting his needs met through another woman. It is nice to feel desirable and he may not even realize what is going on. I wouldn't necessarily jump to the conclusion that they are having an affair, but if it walks like a dog, looks like a dog, and talks like a dog, it is a dog, kwim? It may not be a physical affair, but it may be an emotional affair and that can be even more dangerous than a physical affair b/c it sneaks up on you and you don't even realize it. If you are uncomfortable, he should respect your wishes. I do not think you are being unreasonable to ask him to not spend time w/ this person. That is my 2 cents.
Bobbi
Welcome to the board phoebe2007,
From what you have said, I can't say that he is cheating on you with your friend. You said your husband denies what you see and hear all the time. Can you give us some examples of this?
glitter-graphics.com