he cheeted, how do i trust him!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2008
he cheeted, how do i trust him!?
14
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 8:16pm
hey everyone, my boyfriend cheated on me november 2007, a month after our one year anniversary. We had a great relationship before that and it seemed as though everything was fine. The morning it happend he called me 10 min after apparently crying on the phone and told me what happend. He said it lasted 2 min and he pushed her off and he seemed really upset. Since that day I have had very big trust issues, ive wanted to look through his phone and his facebook and have because Im so nervious. I feel bad that i invaded his privacy but i felt like i had no other choice. It feels like im going crazy because i dont even like him speaking to girls let alone haning with them. HELP ME! What do I do?!?!?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 9:00pm
How did he 'cheat' in 2 minutes? Did he kiss another girl? Did she kiss him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 10:13pm

Welcome to the board cheerchick2008,


Healing betrayal and rebuilding trust usually takes counseling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 7:05am
I'm sorry but I do not personally believe in staying with someone who is only a boyfriend and cheats on you after only one year. I think you should break up with him so that someday you can find someone who won't even cheat after twenty years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 4:36pm

I'm also of the mindset that if you aren't married and have no kids together, it's really not worth trying to fix.

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2008
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 12:27am
hey my boyfriend and i have been together since sept of 2006 and the month of dec 2007 things werent going very good and he sneeked behind my back and got a phone number from a girl at his work who was just visiting from arizona and he talked to her with out me knowing on the phone for about a week and at this time we were living together,and one day he told me to move he didnt want me there anymore we needed space to see if maybe that was the problem he said
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2007
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 12:16pm

 Z

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 12:55pm

Welcome to the board sd_gal,


In an effort to get you more reponses to your post, will

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2008
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 2:36pm
well he didnt fly her out for a visit he met her while she was visiting down here and hung out with her the night before she went back to arizona but the thing is i dont know EXACTLY wat happend just from wat he said thats the thing that is killing me the most.
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 4:30pm

Your reaction is extreme. He made a mistake, but he called you immediately and told you about it and it only lasted a few minutes. The question is why "you" can't let it go? He stimulated deeper feelings inside of you of insecurity which you haven't been able to handle up to now. If you feel so distrustful of him that you have to check through his phone, this is extremely unhealthy for both of you. I suggest you speak to a counselor to work through your issues with trust. If you don't do it with this relationship, these issues can haunt you even with someone else.


All the best,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2008
Fri, 05-16-2008 - 4:35pm
well at the time i thought that things were going great and we seemed to be getting along very well. and i do want to work things out with him because i cant picture my life without him. and the weird thing is, hes trying so hard and doing all the right things but i just cant seem to trust him. like a part of me does and a part of me doesn't. i really dont know what to do, i need to do something though because i want to be with him.

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