He Closes Me Out......

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
He Closes Me Out......
2
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 7:18pm
My boyfriend has killer mood swings. He can go from 0-60 in 3 seconds. We can be talking of future things, or laughing about something, then something sets him off and poof....he closes me out. When I try to get it out of him what is wrong.....he says he doesn't want to talk about it and to "stop asking what is wrong".

He is the most amazing man......loving, caring...great dad. But this....it just makes me feel awful inside. I end up racking my brain trying to figure out what "I" did wrong. Believe me...I am no picnic all the time. I get crabby too, but geez, he can go days without talking.

I love him with all my heart. I know..."give him space, let him figure it out for himself", "it's not you". Believe me, I've heard it all before. I am willing to do all of this, but can someone please tell ME how to handle my extreme sadness and get through this without becoming an emotional trainwreck?




Edited 3/4/2004 7:29:21 PM ET by iamindeep

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 9:25pm
I'm all about accepting people as they are, however, communication in a relationship is WAY too important. Why, exactly, should you be willing to just stand around while he takes out his bad moods on you? This is just not right. This is something he needs to work on. You can support him on that, but to just give him his space and allow him to think that not talking for days to his SO is acceptable behavior is not good, IMO. If he has a depression problem or something like that, he needs to get some help for it. But to take it out on you by shutting you out and basically telling you to just leave him alone and deal is not acceptable. Maybe I'm alone on that, but that's my take on the situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 9:28pm
I agree. This is rediculous and childish behavior on his part.

Have the two of you thought of counseling to work ont he communication? Does he pull this with his child(ren)?