He did not control himslef, now i suffer
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He did not control himslef, now i suffer
| Wed, 09-05-2007 - 7:32pm |
last week my (i guess now) ex boyfriend of one year made a huge mistake. we were walking down the street at night and he was walking me to my car. There were 3 men and they yelled out hey sexy to me. I was dressed in jeans in a tank top, It was totally un called for. I told me ex to ignore it but he didnt. Anyway as i drove away i seen that he confronted them but it was uncalled for he should have just ignored them. he basically showed the gun that he carries to work and stated to them that they shouldnt say things like that cause you never know who has a gun and that people are always killing eachother for no reason at all. it was dumb! the next thing you know they are threatening his life. and stating that they will get there gun and that they just got out of jail. My ex is not violent, he would call the cops before fighting with someone and he is very mature, i think that he made an honest mistake.This all occured in fromt of his home so at this point he wants to move for fear of his life. I stayed the night with him the following night (friday) and everything was fine. on saturday i started to stay with him but a nieghbor of his came to the door and said that there were three guys looking for him. Apparently these guys are trouble makers and have pointed a gun at other nieghbors in the past (we do not live in a rough nieghborhood) Now me and my ex were perfectly fine up until this point. we never argued or faught. But all of a sudden he blames me for the whole thing and states that we should take a break. Just to give you a backround he is 28 and i am 24, he has had a rough childhood and has has some issues because of it, hes yet to even share exactley what with me. on top of that he buys forclosed realastate and i dont think he had been making the progress he was looking for. I think that this episode just put the icing on the cake as far as stress goes for him. so anyway he blames me and wants a break. i call him the next morning and ask if this is a break or a break up and that im all for him getting his head cleared it was fine. He proceeded to tell me that all hes saying is he needs time to clear his head and that there are plenty of other guys in the world for me. We did not have any signs of a break up and infact the week before we had our one and only run in of confrontation where he ignored me and when i finally broke uo with him he called and we were okay. he stated that i would "never be able to get rid of him". not to mention he bought me a $200 purse the wek before. anyway after the phone call when he told me there are plenty of other men in the world he called me again 20 minutes later. He said he was chekcing up on me and that i need to stop crying. he told me that he wasnt going anywhere he just needs to clear his head. so as you can see he's going back and forth. he told me to text him every day and let him know how im doing and what im doing. Last but not least we got in an argument (we never argued till now) over text messaging because i was in class. he told me that i cant help him, becaue i am a student finishing up my last semester and i live at home. (i think hes angry that i dont have my own place for him to come too) and his life is messed up now and its not all about me, and to not worry about him he is fine to take care of myself. he blurted out numerous times in anger staing that he ws angry and he has no one. I told him that youve always had me but you wont except that and its like he wants to be alone forever or something. i didnt explode back at him but i told him that i wished him luck and that i want him to be happy and i would still be here for him anyway. he called me right after and told me in disbeleif that all the things i told him was nice and that " you really do love me huh". i have told him i loved him almost every day since the first time i told him (9 months). he told me if i keep it up we might be married one day and that we will see what happens. he keeps going back and forth. i know he loves me alot but i think that he has some major issues and no matter how much i tell him im here for him he wont believe me and he wont except my companionship. he confuses me but i dont want him to be alone and stressed i love him alot. can you tell me what you think? p.s. he is my first everything. and i realy thought he was the one.

So it can be established that he is not very in control/in touch with his emotions. You have to figure out if you are willing to be with such a person. Love is a gamble...is it worth it to you to continue looking, in hopes that you will find someone more emotionally stable (you are only 24, after all)? Or do you believe that there is no one better out there? If so, are willing to accept him with his baggage?
If I were you, I'd break the ties now, while you have an easy opportunity to slip away(who knows how he would react to a breakup in the future, if he thought you were going to get married). My ex was a hot-headed guy like your boyfriend, and when I tried to break up with him while he thought things were great, he turned into a crazy person..so I think this is a good time to call it quits.
Welcome to the board honeydewsugar,
My best advice, give him what he wants..... read this and see if it doesn't help some:
When he asks for space (aka, "a break")
Welcome to the board honeydewsugar,
In my opinion, he is unstable if he is going to pull a gun on some guys that hollered at you. A person in their right mind doesn't do that. There is no excuse for that. And then he
glitter-graphics.com
You are making alot of excuses for him. He has issues. Issues he doesn't want to deal with...otherwise he would talk to you. I had a rough childhood - I don't go around flashing guns or closing out my DH emotionally. He has poor judgement. He has never really opened up to you. He is trying to keep you on the line instead of making a clean break (which is the respectful thing to do if you really cared about someone). You have your whole life ahead of you. Do you want to spend it trying to save this damaged soul? Or do you want to join it with someone who healthy, committed and as into the r/ship as you?
Good luck!
Dee