he does drugs, i asked him to stop
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 05-19-2004 - 5:30pm |
the other day, i basically told him that if he continues to do drugs that i would leave him. thinking about him doing drugs makes me really stressed out and sad and it makes my stomach queasy. he thought for a really really long time and he said that he would stop doing drugs for me. i can tell that he doesnt really want to quit, but he said he would.
the next day he was talking about how hes worried because the relationship is basically all on him now and if he screws up he said that he knows he wouldnt ever get me back. he kept telling me that he didnt want to lose me. he also said that he doesnt want to feel like someone is controlling their life even when theyre not around him. i understand where he is coming from on that, but i also cant live being constantly worried etc.
he once again said he would stop doing drugs if it meant that we would stay together. im afraid things are going to be awkward now between us. theres a lot more to the story, but thats the basics. if i find out that he did drugs again, what should i do? do you think it was right of me to tell him that if he didnt stop that i would leave him? if you have any comments or advice, please dont hesitate to let me know

You've set yourself up to be lied to about this until you literally catch him redhanded- at which point he'll be too drugged out to deny it, but he knows perfectly well that you're just "flapping your jaws" that you're not leaving if he doesn't stop using - you haven't yet and you still continue to "squawk".
I've been him...and he does the drugs because he feels enttiled to do it and there is nothing wrong with it in his estimation. You're telling him "to keep the benefits of me you have to stop doing whatyou want to do - use drugs'.
At some point, being with you is going to more hassle than doing drugs, or he's going to do drugs to cope with the hassle of being with you. At which point he'll turn this around and say that you "caused" him to use with your threat...and you "forced" him to lie and hide it becuase "he loves you so".
Either stick with him as he is - you're better off knowing when he's using and that he's using so that you can not be around him when he is, and os that you're not in the car, arrested, charged, booked, strip searched, and convicted of "possession" along with him. Which is what will happen if he's hiding from you he's using - because "you forced him to do it".
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com