He doesnt want children. HELP!
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He doesnt want children. HELP!
| Mon, 08-02-2004 - 3:28pm |
Help! My boyfriend of 3 years and I have a major issue! He has 5 kids and doesnt really want any more. He is afraid of "losing another" in a divorce, or that I mgith move away if we split up, as well as all of the financial ramification... (he pays close to 4K per month in support). He is also quite a bite older than me so concerned about having a child at 45.
I on the other hand want to have atleast ONE of my own, as I am younger and have not had any children.
We want to get married, in fact he proposed but then due to this we have become "un-engaged".
Any advice on how to get through this, or waht to do? I dont want to just walk away, but I dont want to force him to have a child either! HELP!

YOU have to decide if you love the man more than you love the idea of having children. If you love the idea of possibly having a baby, then you have to break up with this man.
Sorry it is a hard choice. It is better to agree on this "uncompromisable" issue in the first couple weeks of a relationship rather than after your heart is involved. It is less painful that way.
Put it this way by the time your child is 20 years old it's father will be 65 years old, probably not in good health and maybe even dead.
You are too young and you need to be with someone who wants to see you mature as a mother and as a wife, not a man who is just looking for a wife, caretaker, and babysitter for his already existing bunch.
Think about this as a learning experience. If you move on now, you will have enough time to compose yourself and find someone who is worthy of you and your body. Who knows maybe by next summer we here from iVillage will see you in the summer's hottest maternity wear!
Be blessed always!