Is he embarrassed of me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2006
Is he embarrassed of me?
6
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 9:44am

Last night my DBF mentioned that when we go to this hometown for a wedding this summer, he wanted me to "come out of my shell" and talk to ppl when he's talking to people. What? I am very outgoing, the only time I get quiet is if ppl are engorged in conversations I have no capability of putting input in.


He also mentioned he had been thinking about it for a few days/ weeks now....


What?? It makes me feel like he is worried Im going to make him look bad or something??


I also remember him apologizing to his mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 12:07pm
" I just wonder where all this is coming from." comparison with an ex?? could be. Just be yourself. today he says your quiet, tomm he will say your hair are short/long. You cant change yourself because someone wants that out of you but because you want to for yourself.makes sense? ( i am sorry if it doesnt.i am nearly 5 months prego, cant think straight !)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 12:51pm

I don't know why you would assume that he is embarrassed by you given this comment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 1:51pm

Welcome to the board ceejae2006,


I think the example that spice.man gave you would be a good way to start the conversation if you feel the need to discuss it with him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2006
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 4:54pm

We are fine, I was just venting. When he called this morning, I just told him he may have hurt my feelings bc I wasnt sure how concerned he was by his comments. He said he just wanted to have a good time, he didnt mean it that way.


We usually have good communication before things even turn into fights, as long as I am good about thinking things through before I present him in a confrontational manner.


It helps for me to marinate in the situation first, and even get other opinions.


Thanks for your input. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 5:46pm

Glad it worked out!!





angels

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 6:26pm

It's important to keep up your own sense of self in a relationship. If you feel comfortable with yourself, realize that's what counts. If he is having a problem about something about you, remember it's "his" problem, not yours...unless there is something seriously wrong here...which it does not sound like.


You could mention it to him lightly, not making a big deal. Just ask, "are you having some kind of problem about the way I am?" And let him tell him what he's feeling. Don't defend yourself, just listen. And find out what he's thinking, instead of imagining all kinds of things. Then, if he is having some sort of problem, try to discuss it open and lightly, without blame or accustation. And don't take it personally. Take is as more information about him.


Sometimes people decide that they want something else in a relationship. That's normal. If he's feeling that way he needs to tell you outright. It may not be so at all. It's really best to find out.


All good wishes,