He found someone who cares about him

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2008
He found someone who cares about him
5
Tue, 05-06-2008 - 1:47pm

Has anyone been thru this before??


He started up a "friendship" with another woman because she cares about him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 05-06-2008 - 2:25pm

Well... Do you put him down? Or do you treat him well? It's okay to be critical and to voice your concerns as long as you remain respectful and kind to him. Obviously no relationship is perfect but I really get the sense from your post that you are trying to justify unkindness or negativity in your relationship. He's clearly not perfect either and has poor communication and conflict resolution skills.

Have you two considered marriage counseling? It sounds as though if you were able to TRULY talk to one another and communicate without feeling offended then he would not be focusing on how much better another woman is making him feel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
Tue, 05-06-2008 - 2:30pm
" Can his feelings be changed?" No. but opinions can be changed. either there are feelings or not, nothing in between.Even misunderstandings can be cleared with the feelings intact but cant be changed.Dont get me wrong but if you couldnt see that hes not happy with you then there definitely is a problem.
Hes gone to another woman's arms and you also want someone who thinks 'you are a catch' then D is the best way.If you had wanted to work out the cause and effect,that would be a different story.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2008
Tue, 05-06-2008 - 3:06pm

I do treat him well, and I am good to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 05-06-2008 - 3:12pm

Welcome to the board sato1,


Is counseling an option for the both of you as a couple?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Tue, 05-06-2008 - 5:02pm

"Or is this his way of defusing guilt over what he did to me."


What did he do to you?


It sounds like the two of you could benefit from some marital counseling.