is he giving me enough respect
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is he giving me enough respect
| Mon, 04-23-2007 - 11:04am |
well, i have been with fiance for almost 3 years.. it just seems lately that he doesn't give me the respect i think that i deserve.. or is it respect?? i do everything around this house.. i pay the bills, i clean, i cook, and the only thing that i ask him to do is take the trash out and the trash hasn't been to the curb in over a week.. and when i ask for help cooking or something he laughs at me.. also i work too.. not just him.. and his excuse is always that he doesn't have time... but yet if someone calls and offers $ for him to fix a car .. he jumps right on it.. i will even go to work on his day off and i will come home and he hasn't touched anything.. maybe every once in a while he'll help.. but i need more .. i told him i am stressed and tired.. but he just tell me i am mean.
but this is the reason i am soo upset right now... every night i make dinner and i tell him, ok, like 10 minutes and dinner will be ready and he always gets up after like over 5 minutes, like just before i am ready to serve and tells me 15 more minutes so that he can drink another beer.. it just upsets me that i just cooked him dinner and when i do i think that he should sit down and eat it not make it get cold... so then i tell him this and he tells me i'm mean and to get over it.. he's like "what do want me to do, eat it boiling hot" so i said yes.. i just think that he should respect the fact that i just spent an hour making dinner and i am ready to eat it... do think thast this is a lack of respect and how do i tell him this cause i tell him he doesn't respect me and he's like "i didn't even do anything" ... but yet this is a everyday occurance.help
but this is the reason i am soo upset right now... every night i make dinner and i tell him, ok, like 10 minutes and dinner will be ready and he always gets up after like over 5 minutes, like just before i am ready to serve and tells me 15 more minutes so that he can drink another beer.. it just upsets me that i just cooked him dinner and when i do i think that he should sit down and eat it not make it get cold... so then i tell him this and he tells me i'm mean and to get over it.. he's like "what do want me to do, eat it boiling hot" so i said yes.. i just think that he should respect the fact that i just spent an hour making dinner and i am ready to eat it... do think thast this is a lack of respect and how do i tell him this cause i tell him he doesn't respect me and he's like "i didn't even do anything" ... but yet this is a everyday occurance.help

Sounds like you are doing too much for him.
I would suggest you go ahead and eat when dinner is ready and when he is ready he can eat it weather its cold or not. I do know when my bf is drinking he is not interested in eating and I would be starving waiting. I do not wait anymore and I eat and leave everything else turned off on the stove so when he is ready he eats.
I do know how you feel going thru this myself but I have learned to do less for him. I have stopped doing his laundry at times if I feel he is not helping enough. When he has no jeans or underware he will do a load and then thats less for me to do.
When he wants to go do things with me on the weekend I say if you help me around the house on Saturday I will have time to go to the beach with you on Sunday....
I dont feel its a matter of respect but a matter of you letting it happen and not putting your foot down. Because you do everything he expects it now.
I wish you the best
Hi scorpiocharma,
Your previous post so others can
Please stop worrying about him eating your not his mom. Tell him once when it is ready and eat yourself. Leave it on the stove, I am sure he ate last night once he was ready.
He is busy drinking and not interested in eating. Let him eat a few cold meals he will learn. You are stressing over it and dont need to.
I know what you are going thru having been thru it myself. So I dont mean to sound harsh I truley understand. Half the time I dont even cook and I just grab something on my way home from work for me. My BF is too busy drinking to want to eat and I am hungry at that time. When he gets hungry its not my problem and I ate so Im not all stressed out and starving.
I also have done too much in my relationship in the past but I have learned not to do as much. Its like I felt like I had to do it ALL and became quite overwhelming to me, I also felt he didnt appreciate what I did do for him. I still do more just not as much and yes I hate it when my house is dirty that alone stresses me out
I don't think this is about him eating or not. I think this is about you wanting Quality Time with your guy and he's not stepping up.
Read: Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman