He has ended it but I am not sure....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2011
He has ended it but I am not sure....
6
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 1:52am

Hi,

I met my partner 18 months ago. During that time, we have had many issues (his) to deal with, and we did break up for 3 months very painfully at the beginning of this year.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 8:38am

I met my partner 18 months ago. During that time, we have had many issues (his) to deal with, and we did break up for 3 months very painfully at the beginning of this year.

IMHO, it appears that you have some major issues, as well, or you will not waste time with such a messed up man.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 10:36am

I would ask you to read your post objectively as if you were reading about someone else and ask yourself why you would want a relationship like this--you

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 11:07am

"

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 3:48pm

Sorry but he is right.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 4:39pm

I agree with xxxs... He HAS to feel the cold sting of failure for himself and to lift himself back up. You cannot do this for him, nor can you help him if he is not looking for help, nor can you shield him from reality. It is not your job or responsibility, for one; for another, the only way people are able to grow is by experiencing difficulty and adapting to it.

You say you know that you should leave him to fix his life. You are right. There is no "but"... This is the only path you can take. I know you love him, but you cannot help him. He is an adult, he has authority over himself, and by staying the only thing you are accomplishing is the feeling of having banged your head against a brick wall for far too long.

I wish there were another answer. Acceptance is extremely difficult, especially when you yourself are enlightened enough to say, "it doesn't have to be this way, if only he would _____". that is a reality that he will have to learn for himself. You cannot give it to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2008
Wed, 12-21-2011 - 3:35am

I thank you all for the responses - even the tough love ones lol.

I'm not here specifically for answers I want to hear, but I do find that writing is the most therapuetic thing one can do - I do know what I need to do, and as long as I see the truth in writing, it will eventually become clear to me that I am indeed banging my head against a brick wall.