Is he just humoring me?
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Is he just humoring me?
| Wed, 02-04-2004 - 3:12pm |
Why would a guy ask a girl out and not follow through with plans? Is he just humoring me? No date has been set to go out yet and it has been two and half weeks since. Should I let it go or should i call him and ask him 'what about our plans to hang out'? I've been told to let the guy pursue the girl. If I call, does that mean I'm pursuing him, pressuring him to go out with me even though he is the one who offered to hang out?
I've known this guy for a few months now and we met through a mutual friend. Our friend was trying to set us up. We both weren't ready for a relationship when we both met. We both just got out of a relationship at the time. We've become some what like casual friends since then. We mainly communicate through e-mail. We've hung out a couple of times when we first met and I've bumped into him on a couple of occasions at mutual friends' gatherings after that. He has also asked me out a month ago but I couldn't go out with him because I was busy on the day he has asked me out. I turned him down without giving an alternate and was not even thinking of the consequence of that since I was nervous when he called.
I have been ready quite sometime now to start a relationship. If he asked me out, does that me he is ready too? But he didn't follow through with this one. I've developed a crush on him since we met and I think he knows it too which could be the reason why he asked me out. Any insight would be much appreciated.
I've known this guy for a few months now and we met through a mutual friend. Our friend was trying to set us up. We both weren't ready for a relationship when we both met. We both just got out of a relationship at the time. We've become some what like casual friends since then. We mainly communicate through e-mail. We've hung out a couple of times when we first met and I've bumped into him on a couple of occasions at mutual friends' gatherings after that. He has also asked me out a month ago but I couldn't go out with him because I was busy on the day he has asked me out. I turned him down without giving an alternate and was not even thinking of the consequence of that since I was nervous when he called.
I have been ready quite sometime now to start a relationship. If he asked me out, does that me he is ready too? But he didn't follow through with this one. I've developed a crush on him since we met and I think he knows it too which could be the reason why he asked me out. Any insight would be much appreciated.

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I would call him up.Not to put him on the spot, but to give him abother chance to rrealize what he might be passing up.Say something like...whenever you want to go out, just let me know...that way, you called him( this isnt the 50's, there are no unwritten rules saying the girl must wait), not letting him think that YOU werent interested, but still puts the ball back in his court.That way, if he isnt interested, he just doesnt call you back.
Carrie
Now, I'm a little mixed on whether or not I should e-mail him back. Yet, I don't want to blow him off by not responding. I'm just a little tired of this e-mailing and not really getting a real chance to get to know him any better. I would rather call him or better yet, see him in person so that I can get to know him better. I don't know what I'm feeling.
This relationship has given me too many complexes that I don't need and I know I'm not real good at relationships. I seem to run into this every time I find a guy I like. One reason I have steered myself away from guys for a long time so that I can make myself stronger. I guess I still need some more work on myself.
How should I respond or should I even respond?
Any insight is much appreciated. Thanks.
I would send him one last email saying something like "thanks for the information, it was nice to hear from you, glad you're well, please call me if you'd like to get together again" (put CALL me, not email me or "let me know") and then leave the ball in his court.
So you are being vague, not telling him what you really want, hoping he reads your mind and beating around the bush yet you are upset that he is not being direct.
Either ask him out or give up. It shouldn't be this difficult.
I agree: make the move yourself. Find an event you'd really like to go (a concert, a show, a movie you think he may be interested in) and write him "Hey, you said you wanted to hang out: I saw that XXX is showing this day, why don't we go together?" Then, the ball is his. Even if he cannot go, he should suggest an alternative ("How about dinner on Fri instead?"). If he does neither, drop him and start looking elsewhere. Just my 2 cents.
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