He just stops communicating when Angry
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| Wed, 06-27-2007 - 11:54am |
Been in a long distance (2 hours away) relationship since September. He traveled to see me virtually every weekend. We were very close and he seemed to be one of those totally dedicated guys. If it wasn’t for his daughter (8 years old) he would have already moved to my area. He takes on most of the responsibility of raising their daughter. The mom works in a high power job and rarely home during the week (leaves by 7am and home between 7-8pm), so he ends up taking care of before school and after school as well as all activities. Weekends he comes to see me, and sometimes he’d bring his daughter – which was great.
He is very caring and gets stressed easily. I admire and encourage him taking care of his daughter. She should be first. Many times he is going out of his way for the ex and it impacts our plans. We’ve gotten into the same argument several times over his ex’s plans taking priority over his and him not standing up. Most recent he was coming up on Friday, Saturday we were going down there and picking up the daughter around 1 for a birthday party and dropping her back off. The ex decides she wants to go to RI to visit a friend who had a baby. So we said so you don’t have to be back at a specific time, we’ll keep the daughter overnight. Next thing the ex HAS to leave at 9am Saturday morning, so BF can’t come up Friday night, and out goes our plans.
I was still willing to go down there Saturday but he had such an attitude because I was upset about his EX again ruling. She couldn’t leave for RI at 1? Wasn’t it enough she wouldn’t have to hurry home because we’d take the daughter overnight? Typical guy he shuts down instead of having a quick discussion about it. We didn’t really have words… he said I can either discuss this or go to the party and have a good time…. So I nicely said go to the party and have a great time and hung up. I haven’t heard a word from him in 12 days.
What’s sad is the weekend before this happened we had the most amazing weekend… I hadn’t ever felt closer to anyone ever and was totally in love. He had always said if things didn’t work out he couldn’t picture his life without us being friends. I know more about him then anyone else.
I have no idea what to do. I really care about him, and feel he has to fix his baggage on his own – it’s a deal breaker if he doesn’t. Before when this happened he got quiet (a few days) and I initiated talking it out and everything was fine. I won’t chase him and I really thought I would have heard from him by now. Do I just write him off? Do guys usually do this because they need some space?

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THANKS everyone!! I feel better. We both knew the odds were against us. We seemed to have a really deep connection. We talked online for a year and then met and dated for 9 months. We saw each other virtually every weekend.
I really need someone who communicated and works through things together. It's really lonely to have someone just stop all communication. I really feel you wouldn't do that to a friend, why would you do it to a partner. I thought he might have just needed space and time to figure out what he wants. I didn't think it would lead to two weeks of no communication (Saturday makes 2 weeks).
I really need someone who wouldn't walk away when the going gets a little tough. It's the worse feeling. It's got to be easier then this. Hopefully I won't keep checking my caller ID wishing for a call!!
Thanks for your insight!
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