He left me and our son for his family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
He left me and our son for his family.
3
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 2:52pm
My fiance of 4 years just rekindled his long lost relationship with his father. His father left his mother 19 years ago for another woman and never looked back.

Now after getting back on track with his dad, he visited him in Buffalo on Memorial Day weekend, after that things changed.

When he came back home he was so different, if I went to kiss him he would back away, he wouldn't even touch me in bed.

So here comes fourth of July weekend and he wants to go see him again, I wanted him to spend time with me and our son, but he was so excited about going I couldn't tell him not to go.

He got upset because I told him the drive was too long for him to take our 3 year old ( roughly 12 hours from Michigan to Buffalo)

He cancelled his whole trip, I was hurt and angry that he would react that way so I told him if he was more happy there to just pick up his things and leave... and he did.

Almost a month later of being alone with our son, he swore on his mothers memory that he doesn't love me.

I asked him to at least come live here in Michigan so our son can have a father, he said he refused to come back, and that he would only come occasionally to see our son.

Sad thing is I love him and me and our son miss him.

He turned into someone I barely know and all I can think of is how he is doing to us what his father did to him and his mom.

How can we ( my son and I ) move on after all this when we love and need him so much?

Edited 8/1/2004 3:05 pm ET ET by angelical_baby


Edited 8/1/2004 4:39 pm ET ET by angelical_baby

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 9:05pm
You have to grieve for the loss of the marriage, relationship, father in your son's life, grieving takes time - consider short-term counseling to help you through this. Realize you are NOT LESS THAN because of his actions, choices, decision, behavior. It's sad that he would abandon his family.... my best to you.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 8:38am

My heart goes out to you. Keep your head up and be the strong person you know you are.


Please keep in touch with us here, as i am interested in the outcome of things and how you are doing.


Your fellow michigander,


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 5:34pm
Thanks for your responses, I have been taking things a day at a time. I have to be strong for me and my child, and I can't let these things bring me down.

I have to do everything so that my son does not see me at my weakest, he deserves better than that.

He is going through so much right now, he falls asleep in a chair by the window waiting for his dad every night. It tears my heart apart, but I have to let him deal with his own emotions and just be here to support him and love him.

I know we will get through this, and I am trying to be the best mom, and friend, and companion to my son so he does not feel like all is over because his dad is not around.

Thanks so much, be blessed always!