He picked his buddies over me?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
He picked his buddies over me?!
3
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 10:10am
About a day or so ago, my guy gets in touch with me and makes plans. He wants to come to my place and rent some DVD's. I agree and I am excited to see him b/c of my school schedule and his work schedule, we rarely get to see eachother as it is. He said that he had to help his dad out in the saw mill and that he would be over as soon as he was finished which would be around 11pm or so. (Which was the truth before anyone asks, I talked to his mom today, she and I are good friends).

All I asked of him is that if he had to change plans for some reason, to please call and let me know a little ahead of time. (What I meant by this is if he was spending the night there, incase work wasn't finished, although I didn't say that, I just assumed that was understood).

Anyway, he does get in touch with me 2 hours in advance. He tells me that some neighbors who are friends of his as well, stopped by and they want him to hang out with them...drinking, guitar playing, guy stuff. So he was going up there instead. Normally, I wouldn't care, I understand he wants to see his friends, and its true he doesn't get out to his parents way much anymore. But this was his day off...the only one for another 5 or 6 days. I haven't seen him in almost a week as of today. He works almost constantly.

He says he cares about me etc, etc, but I don't feel like it now. I was looking forward to seeing him.....I got dolled up and purchased a bottle of wine. I wanted to make this evening special. (He didn't know I was doing this, and I wasn't about to tell him after he called to switch plans, I don't want him here out of guilt, only if he wants to be.) Apparently, he'd rather be with them tonight.

Should I get mad about this? I mean, yes technically, he did call to let me know there was a change in plans, within proper time. But I am hurt because he didn't want to see me....I know he hasn't seen them much, but he hasn't seen me much either lately. Should I take it personally that he chose to hang out with his buddies over me? Guys and girls...please shed some light on this for me.




iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 11:13am
In all honesty, when I saw the title of your post, I thought "oh here we go, another high maintenace girlfriend". However, on reading your post, I have to agree with you.

You boyfriend made plans to be with you first, and I think he was wrong to switch and go out with his friends. Fine, if he wants to go and hang out with his old friends, but to break an engagement with you to do so was wrong. I think you have every right to be mad at him and I would tell him so, in a calm and rational manner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 11:19am
He shouldn't have broken off a date with you to hang out with some friends and you have every right to be upset.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 3:53pm
Ditto to what everyone else replied....basically he made plans with you, got a better (or more fun) offer and cancelled on you. Not a good sign.


Carrie