Is he for REAL??! OMG I am goana scream!
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| Sun, 03-09-2008 - 6:00pm |
Ok, I feel like I am going to scream and drive into the nearest brick wall!
My BF is a builder (yes lucky me to have a handy guy in my life) but with all pluses come negatives. Our main issues are I am pissed as it is that it has been 4 years and STILL No ring. Yup. I have made it clear that I want one before I turn 30 (this year) or I am leaving. Oh yes and believe me I WILL. NOOOOO empty threats from this girl. He has a son-I dont ever want my own kids-never have. That being said I deal with his sone living with us FULL TIME as I love my BF that much.
Problem: Since hes a builder he LOVES to do projects. BIG ones. Like say adding 4000 sq feet to our 2000 sq ft foot house. WHILE we lived here. At one point we had no heat, no hot water, leaking ceilings-YOU NAME IT. Sheet rock dust EVERYWHERE and filth and I HATED it. I dealt with it since I loved him and had JUST moved in with him to this house. NOW we are selling the house and moving. This is where the problem comes into play.
He wants to RENOVATE our NEXT home too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I told him NO FREAKIN WAY am I living in that sort of s++t again! Its HORRIBLE. Ok a bathroom paiting-sure! New floors sure! But I am talking walls being knocked down, stair cases added, kitchen TORN OUT...gawd I want to strangle him!
WHY not just stay where we are until the

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Yes and no. He basically laid out there that we cannot AFFORD this house anymore. Event he utilities are kicking our butt (the heat is INSANE in 6000 square feet) and he wants to just get out and stop paying such high rediculous costs. PLUS we llive in the sticks and every single utility costs more not only since its a monster house but because there are NO options. Our phone/cable/internet alone is $250/month! Well actually its $237 and some change. So...anyway he wants to not pay extra and contiue carrying both mortgages...we just kicked out the renters (they move 3/31) of our old house so that we can move back on 4/1.
I told him I was super excited to move back and then WHAM! He throws out there that he plans to renovate the
"I told him I was super excited to move back and then WHAM! He throws out there that he plans to renovate the whole D++N thing!"
Here's where you get your say. "I want to have input into what we do with this house and if you cannot take my feelings into consideration then we should not be a couple anymore."
Welcome to the board girlyone2001,
I hope you take eggbertshootsfire's advice on what to say and mean it.
Here's the thing, even if you get the ring it's not going to change how he interacts with you. Nor will it give you more say in what he does to any house, because at this point he's not shown that your opinion matters.
Reading materail:
Are You the One for Me? by Barbara DeAngelis
Welcome to the board girlyone2001,
To me the answer is clear. You are already behind financially. You can not avoid to put the new (old) house under any renovations. I would tell him that this will not
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'I dont ever want my own kids-never have. That being said I deal with his sone living with us FULL TIME as I love my BF that much. '
You DEAL with him? What does that mean?
Maybe you two aren't the best match for each other. You threaten him that you will leave, giving him an ultimatum. he makes decisions about the house without compromising with you. The money situation seems out of hand.
"You DEAL with him? What does that mean?
Maybe you two aren't the best match for each other. You threaten him that you will leave, giving him an ultimatum. he makes decisions about the house without compromising with you. The money situation seems out of hand."
Ok...let me clarify.
You don't like his son because his son "hurts" you?
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