Is he for REAL??! OMG I am goana scream!

Avatar for girlyone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Is he for REAL??! OMG I am goana scream!
17
Sun, 03-09-2008 - 6:00pm

Ok, I feel like I am going to scream and drive into the nearest brick wall!


My BF is a builder (yes lucky me to have a handy guy in my life) but with all pluses come negatives. Our main issues are I am pissed as it is that it has been 4 years and STILL No ring. Yup. I have made it clear that I want one before I turn 30 (this year) or I am leaving. Oh yes and believe me I WILL. NOOOOO empty threats from this girl. He has a son-I dont ever want my own kids-never have. That being said I deal with his sone living with us FULL TIME as I love my BF that much.


Problem: Since hes a builder he LOVES to do projects. BIG ones. Like say adding 4000 sq feet to our 2000 sq ft foot house. WHILE we lived here. At one point we had no heat, no hot water, leaking ceilings-YOU NAME IT. Sheet rock dust EVERYWHERE and filth and I HATED it. I dealt with it since I loved him and had JUST moved in with him to this house. NOW we are selling the house and moving. This is where the problem comes into play.


He wants to RENOVATE our NEXT home too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I told him NO FREAKIN WAY am I living in that sort of s++t again! Its HORRIBLE. Ok a bathroom paiting-sure! New floors sure! But I am talking walls being knocked down, stair cases added, kitchen TORN OUT...gawd I want to strangle him!


WHY not just stay where we are until the

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Avatar for girlyone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 7:14pm

Yes Americajin. I MUST have a mental illness since I want a child to show loving ways. What was I thinking? Gawd. Thank you so much..I will rush to a Dr. and get some meds that will numb my feelings.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 7:21pm
You are not doing much to disprove her point.
Avatar for girlyone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 8:10pm
Well it just frustrates me....why is it so bizarre and that I am a head case in her opinion that I wish he were affectionate?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 10:15pm

It's just that the manner in which you respond to posts is concerning and I think she raised a valid point that if this is the way you talk to people in real life, you come across as though you are in hysterics. I saw that you erased a lot of the "!!!!!!!!!!!"s and sarcastic tone out of your last post. That's the kind of stuff I mean. It's tough to reason with someone who communicates the way you do online. Maybe you're totally different in person but this is the only impression we can get.

That said, no of course it's not wrong for you to want a child to be loving and open. But he's not. He is not your child, and if you can't love him the way he is and do more than strainedly tolerate him, it's probably not best to pursue a relationship in which the only given is that this child will be with you for the rest of your life.

"it hurts my feelings that he dosnt say Happy BIrthday or get excited to see me...isnt that part of parenting??"
But you're not his parent....

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Registered: 11-29-2006
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 9:55am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 11:43am

This child's original family unit broke up right? He probably isn't warming up to you for obvious reasons. Do not take this personally and do not expect affection from him

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Sun, 03-16-2008 - 1:40am

ciao_gina, you and

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