Is he really interested or just using me
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Is he really interested or just using me
| Sat, 03-24-2007 - 9:02pm |
I have been friends with a guy for about four years. In January of last year he and his wife started divorce proceedings. I had really liked him for a long time and we began talking and ended up sleeping together a couple of months later. He said he felt really guilty because his divorce wasn't finalized. He called me a couple of weeks later and apologized. He said that he had moved out and he wanted to see me. Of course, I invited him over and we slept together again. We talked on and off after that but for a few months, we never saw each other. I did ask him several times if he wanted to go out to dinner or hang out and he always had other plans. So, because I thought he just wasn't interested, I didn't talk to him for about two months. Then he e-mailed me and asked me out to dinner which he had never done before. I said yes and he bought me dinner and afterwards he hugged me and I went home. He started e-mailing every day asking how things were going and telling me about work and his godchildren. He asked me to come over one night and we watched a movie and fooled around a little. Everything seemed fine. We went to dinner several more times and began seeing each other about twice a week. He even started texting me which he hates to do because he's a tight wad and doesn't like spending the money on text messages. For the past two weeks, he has been different. He doesn't answer e-mails and on the occasions that I ask him to go out he already has plans. I assume that he has lost interest but my friend says that men are just moody and he probably just needs space. I really like him and had hoped that something more would have come out of the relationship. Am I just being naive by thinking he was interested in me?? Was he just calling me because he knew I would sleep with him?? I feel so stupid and am too embarassed to actually come out and ask him which I know is really juvenile. Does anyone have any advice that could help me?

Welcome to the board sophiekidde,
I'd kind of wonder if he's trying to work out things with his wife.
Well, first of all, he doesn't sound so stable. After a divorce many men go in and out of relationships, trying to sort everything out and to find their way again. He may not be ready for a relationship, or his feelings may just fluctuate a lot. Whatever it is, it doesn't sound as though he's good for you at this point, because you can't count on him and because he goes in and out. Don't take this personally, just realize that it's his own feelings about relationships in general and also most likely, feelings about his marriage that are not completely worked through, that keep popping up. If I were you, I'd move on. Once there's this kind of pattern of behavior in a relationship, it usually goes on and on. It's not so healthy for you.
Best wishes,
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