he said HER name!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2004
he said HER name!
2
Fri, 06-25-2004 - 3:10pm
So my boyfriend and I have had some rocky times...but we're working on getting it back together. He has lived in this city for 6 years and goes to a bar twice a week. The bartender there, Emily, he talks about her all the time, he fixes her car and she cuts his hair, gives him free beer and food etc. Through the whole time we were dating before he never took me there when she was there. I started asking to go there when he wanted to go out to eat, so we went last week, the Friday before my birthday. He flirted with her and told stories about us...and left me out of them completely! It was like he told stories about some girl, instead of the girl he almost married and had all these wonderful funny experiences with. (ie. this girl i used to be with talked in her sleep too..) He wouldn't touch me or look at me when she was around. That was annoying, on top of all the other times he talks about her and the way he lights up when she is around, even though she's married. The final straw was on midnight, when my birthday started, I went over to him and laid on top of him. I said Brian wake up and wish me happy birthday! He turned his head to face me and said Happy Birthday Emily! He swears he doesn't feel anything for her, but he continues to go there twice a week and i still can't get over him saying her name. I've told him how I felt, and I know it would be worng to ask him to not go there as much, but I'm so hurt by it. Especially when he specifically leaves out going there when we're talking about what we did that day. That gives me cause to worry that he's hiding something. How do I get past it and trust him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Fri, 06-25-2004 - 3:28pm
Please forgive me, I'm about to be VERY blunt.

What do you mean it would be wrong to ask him to stop going there? Where is your self worth?

Lose the loser honey.

No man who cares about you would behave this way. Period.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 06-25-2004 - 4:31pm
Why are you settling for a bf like this? Don't concern yourself with "getting past it" or trusting him. Forget about him saying her name (name slips happen all the time, no biggie IMO). There are much bigger issues than that. He is not into you, he doesn't respect your feelings, he's inconsiderate and he's a lousy bf. Period. Nobody who's proud to have you as gf and who's into you would treat you like you weren't there, avoid bringing you anywhere with him, hide where he's been, act like you have the plague when he's with you in public. WHY ARE YOU SETTLING FOR THIS? Forget about hoping he changes. Instead, look at the choices YOU are making and think about why you are making them. Don't you think you can do better than this? You get exactly what you accept for yourself and no better. Remember that.