He SAYS he wants to marry me
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He SAYS he wants to marry me
| Sat, 05-15-2004 - 1:46am |
Why cant my guy be as passionate about me as I am about him? Hes so non-shalaunt about our relationship. He insists hes head over heels in love with me, and that hes just preoccupied with trying to make his business work. He wants to get married in 4 or 5 years, because thats when hes supossed to have all his money and hell be able to dedicate all of himself to the relationship. I dont know what Im supossed to do. I feel like crap because I feel like Im not important enough to be number one RIGHT NOW. I dont understand why he has to have all this money BEFORE he gets married. Why cant we get married WHILE hes making money? Isnt that how it normally works? Or is he just trying to avoid getting married for as long as he can? He doesnt really think its important, and likes things the way they are, but he said hes willing to get married, because I want to.. but its going to be in like 4 years. Anyways. My question is.. WHY? Why does he feel like he needs all this money BEFORE we get married? And why cant he love me enough to WANT to get married?

You have 2 choices:
1) You gamble 4 years of your life in the hopes that he will make good on his promise and not meet/commit to someone fresh and new at that time when he has all his money. I don't see you going 4 years without having resentment along the way because your feelings are very strong now - and rightfully so.
2) You move on and find someone who is crazy about you and wants to marry you now - I would think you could do that within 4 years time.
Number one is very risky in my opinion. I would choose number 2. Number 2 could have the added benefit of making him realize he can't live without you.
You cannot control what he does. You can only control what you do. If you are not happy then you must do something about that because tolerating what you do not want will only bring more unhappiness.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Guys use this as crock, so you will not date anyone else, until HE is ready.
Sorry to say, this guy is full of crap. I used to pull the same crap on boyfriends that wanted to marry me. I would come up with all these excuses, (like my career, and the business) but when the right guy came along, I took him with me, through my career and the business.
Listen to your instincts girl.