He says i smothered him! HELP!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2007
He says i smothered him! HELP!!
19
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 7:42pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 9:31pm

You only dated for 3 months and yet you were together daily, he lived with you while "in between homes", and after your first fight, you blew up the phone calling him.


I don't think you smothered him (since he was a willing participant in the excessive togetherness), so much as you were way too available, buying him stuff, saying ILY, always being there for him. You made things too easy for him, and it's sad but true that people often don't value what they don't have to work for.


I'm not saying you should have played the hard-to-get game, but I am saying that you should have contolled the pace of the relationship from the beginning and proceeded much more slowly, no matter what he said he

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 10:07pm

Welcome to the board melissaa18,


Three months and this is happening?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 11:03am

Welcome to the board melissaa18,


This sounds a lot like a relationship that I was in several years ago with an older man. In my opinion, he isn't looking for a serious relationship right now. I wouldn't call or text him. Wait and see if he contacts you.


Sorry you have to go through this. I know it is frustrating.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2007
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 12:49pm

Thank you everyone so much for your help and responses. They are all greatly appreciated, and very helpful. I am new to this so the fact that you all took the time out of your day to respond was so kind!


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 1:15pm

Yeah it does suck seeing him out of the blue like that. What did he do when he saw you?


I still think you should wait and see if he texts or calls again.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2007
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 1:23pm

Hey thanks for your quick response!


He was walking to his car, coffee in hand and i was looking at him, and he waved...and i did a half wave back and just acted like i had better things to do then to stop and talk to him, so i quickly got into my car.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 8:25pm
I think you're doing the right thing by ignoring a text message apology. I wouldn't respond to him at all if he can't be bothered to pick up the phone and call you. He might call you and he might not, but don't you call him. Even if he does call and give you a heartfelt apology, you should really think about whether or not you really want to keep seeing him. If he did this to you once, he could easily do it again. I think you should hold out for a guy who will appreciate you more. There are plenty of fish in the sea, especially at your age, and you can do better than this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2007
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 10:32am
Hi everyone, i still have not
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 10:42am
My advice is still the same don't call. If he was interested in trying to save the relationship he would have called you and asked to you see. Don't give him the satisfaction of calling him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 11:12am

Do NOT call him.

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