Is he still shopping?
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| Wed, 05-26-2004 - 2:53pm |
First some background.. I met my current live in boyfriend on Tickle.com which is a Matchmaking/Social Networking site. We met on the Social Networking Side, as we are both in the same city and joined the regional group.
Up until now we've been immensely happy together.. we have fun, know how to make each other laugh (even our arguments are funny) and (I thought) were completely devoted to each other.
He's been talking about buying a house, we've been planning a vacation to go visit my big sister across the country, going on a cruise, etc.
But today I'm messing around on Tickle on the Matchmaking side, when who's profile do I discover but his?
Not to worry.. he doesn't have much time on his hands so I figure he must not have had the time to delete it yet.
So I meander through the profile.. look at what he has to say, and then click on the 'pictures' link...
A picture that a friend took of us 2 weeks ago is in his pictures link.. and I'm cut out of it!!!
So what's the deal? Obviously he's keeping his profile maintained.. so is he still shopping around?
Is everything that has come out of his mouth about me and us just him spouting off what he thinks I want to hear?
Would anyone else jump to the conclusion that he has no faith in the longevity of our relationship?
How do/Should I confront him? What should I say?
Help!

I would definitely confront him, and let him know that you are not comfortable being in a committed r'ship with someone who has a profile up on a singles site. Ask him to explain the profile and what he plans to do about it. Of course, if he takes it down, there's nothing to prevent him from putting one up on any of a hundred different singles sites. He's basically broken the trust between you by his actions, so most likely couples counseling will be necessary if you are to have a chance of rebuilding that trust.
Good luck. I gave my ex several chances over a similar issue and finally broke things off a while back when I found his profile on yet *another* site after he promised me he was not on any sites.
Sheri
Keep looking up^, Susan.
On that note, I did talk to him that night after avoiding him like the plague while I tried to collect my thoughts.. I got an explanation although I'm not sure if I like it, so we'll see where we go from here.
A few months ago I might have still 'been shopping around' but now I could safely say I'm very happy with him and the relationship.. a few months ago it seemed too new to be as serious as it was and I was scared. I think I've come to grips with the rate it's progressing now. ;)