He Talks About Sex Too Much

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
He Talks About Sex Too Much
10
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 6:38am

So it seems to appear lately that my bf is always thinking about sex. Well...maybe not just lately.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 1:14pm
What you can do is say, I feel really uncomfortable, unrespected (fill in your feeling) and I like to be treated like a lady. I really would love to spend some time with you, but only in an environment that is comfortable and respectful of me as a lady. This way it's all about you and you haven't actually accused him of a single thing. You make your statement and walk away. That way what you say matches up with what you do...and you build credibility. Everytime he starts that talk, tell him why you're hanging up or walking away and do it. Right now you tell him that you don't like it and you keep hanging around anyway so clearly in his eyes, you like it.
Your boyfriend may be into sex and objectification, but he doesn't know the first thing about feelings and intimacy. Maybe you don't either. Lots of people confuse the two.
You should not be so worried about how he takes things. You should only be focused on you being treated with dignity and respect. If you don't demand it for yourself, who will?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 1:41pm

Welcome to the board snakegoddess,


You just need to sit him down and tell him that you don't want to upset him but it makes you feel ........when he constantly talks about sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 5:14pm

If his constant dirty talk isnt your cup of tea then just tell him that because he talks so much that way...it is losing its impact.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 5:59pm
I agree up to a point...people are different and maybe it would be ideal if she was easy going about things, but writing that she _should_ be able to relax even when he talks to her this way is not for us to say.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 6:43pm

I like the ideas you've been given....very unconfrontational.


I would have suggested saying "Gawd, will you give it a rest!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Wed, 04-16-2008 - 10:28am

"but writing that she _should_ be able to relax even when he talks to her this way is not for us to say."


First of all, I dont remember anyone

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-16-2008 - 11:55am

Tell him that you love it that he desires you and enjoys sex so much, and it's also important

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Wed, 04-16-2008 - 5:57pm
I misunderstood your post (a lot of that going on yesterday) and I read that you felt she was wrong to not be into it like her boyfriend was. The word should expresses rightness. For me, when I read your post, I read that you felt she was wrong in not falling in with his likes. Clearly that is not what you meant. I got caught up in semantics.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 3:42pm

Hello everyone,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 6:04pm
I hear ya.