He thinks I want to be more important than his son
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|Mon, 04-08-2013 - 8:54pm|
My bf and I have been together off and on for 7 years. Most of the breakups were due to his cheating or not working. Two years ago he moved out to live with his sister since I was tired of taking care of him. Four months after he moved out he told me he told me he had fathered a child and the baby was two months old! I could not believe what I was hearing. I immediately ended things but he kept calling and begging me to stay with him and work things out. Over time that is what I decided to do mainly because I did not want any more kids and felt that we would have broken up over it one day anyway. I felt that now that he had a child, we crossed that hurdle. He eventually got a job and his own place, but he lives two hours away. On top of that he never speaks to his son or his son's mother when I am around which makes me feel that he has something to hide. He also has never introduced me to his son and he is now two. Recently, I asked if he wanted to go away for his birthday, he said no that if he went anywhere he would take his son on a trip. I couldn't understand that since he is in no position to take his son anywhere and here I was offering to take him away for his birthday. The other day he was in a bad mood and said the only thing in his life that makes him happy is his son. I felt hurt, but I didn't say anything. Now the other day he didn't pay his cell phone on time and it was cut off for two days. He implied that I should have paid it for him and followed that with the only reason he paid the bill is so that he could be in contact with his son. That upset me and I said if that's the case his son should have paid the bill! He accused me of being selfish and wanting to be more important to him than his son and made it clear that that will never be the case. I couldn't believe he accused me of that. I have a son that I love dearly, but I have never made a comment to him regarding my son being a priority over him. I don't think that needs to be said. Since he clearly wants to draw a line between me and his son, I feel a negative dynamic building and think it is best to end this relationship. We have not spoken since the arguement but if there is one thing that I've learned over these 7 years is that he always calls to work things out. I feel that he is being very insensitive and mean towards me. But I wanted to see if anyone felt that I was being selfish.