Is he treating parents better than me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
Is he treating parents better than me?
9
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 12:20am

My husband and I have been married for almost a year.

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 9:28am

I think your point is valid. He is definitely not giving you the consideration that you deserve when it coems to these matters with his parents. It is not really his parents needs but his needs to clear the schedule for them everytime they call or visit. Like life must come to a screeching halt when they are on the phone or visiting. You have every right to have more consideration of your feelings in this regard. If he cannot see your point, then why not possibly set up a visit with a counselor. Its not like your marriage is in trouble or anything, but you seem to be at an impasse about this. I hate to say try doing a tit for tat but what if you were to pull some of the same behaviors on him regarding your parents?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 10:26am

He sounds like someone who is very unreasonable, not so much as regard to his parents, but the fact that he twists your words around to something that you didn't say.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 10:49am

May I ask.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 11:51am

Thanks for the responses!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 12:30pm

Could your DH be overcompensating for your Mom's behavior?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2009
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 12:37pm
Its not about ' treating parents better than you ' . Everyone has there own place and respect . Just because he married you , it doesnt mean that he should start ' treating' his parents like garbage ( not that you are wanting to , just saying ).

I would agree if you said about not maintaining boundaries.

That said, given the reason about before marriage etc. , I guess he is trying to be as fair as possible from his parents pov and trying not to make things worse / complicated because of miscommunication.

It can difficult being a man sometimes, lol !
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 12:37pm

Did he act like this BEFORE you were married?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 1:33pm

Good point...that is probably the wrong way to phrase it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 1:36pm
I should add that I like the fact that they're close, but like cherry2009 said, some boundaries should be maintained to make our relationship as smooth as possible.