The reason he snapped at you, and that he feels strongly about this, is because he feels controlled.
I'm willing to bet that the main reason he wants to talk to her is not because he likes her that much, but because he doesn't want to have rules put upon him by someone else. My guy did the same thing too when he asked me 3 years ago if I'd be ok with him having coffee with his ex and I said I wouldn't like it. Lashing out is a very very typical male response to being "leashed".
Unless you have a concrete reason not to trust him with her, I suggest you let him have contact. Chances are they won't be very close and he'll feel satisfied not to feel controlled anymore. If you can't do that, then you need to tell him that contact with a ex is a deal-breaker for you and will end the relationship. He will probably break up with you if you say that, but he's adamant about being able to talk with whoever he wants and you'll have to deal with that accordingly.
I miss him terribly and i want things to go back to how they were before all this started up again with about his ex.... i want my feelings to matter to him... but he sure isn't showing any sensitivity with how upset this all makes me... today, he is TRYING to understand.. but he just doesn't get it... he just wants to have contact with her again... he asked me what im scared of... its him WANTING this, and the thought of him being excited to talk with her,
The reason he snapped at you, and that he feels strongly about this, is because he feels controlled.
I'm willing to bet that the main reason he wants to talk to her is not because he likes her that much, but because he doesn't want to have rules put upon him by someone else. My guy did the same thing too when he asked me 3 years ago if I'd be ok with him having coffee with his ex and I said I wouldn't like it. Lashing out is a very very typical male response to being "leashed".
Unless you have a concrete reason not to trust him with her, I suggest you let him have contact. Chances are they won't be very close and he'll feel satisfied not to feel controlled anymore. If you can't do that, then you need to tell him that contact with a ex is a deal-breaker for you and will end the relationship. He will probably break up with you if you say that, but he's adamant about being able to talk with whoever he wants and you'll have to deal with that accordingly.
Welcome to the board sbloomfield78,
I miss him terribly and i want things to go back to how they were before all this started up again with about his ex.... i want my feelings to matter to him... but he sure isn't showing any sensitivity with how upset this all makes me... today, he is TRYING to understand.. but he just doesn't get it... he just wants to have contact with her again... he asked me what im scared of... its him WANTING this, and the thought of him being excited to talk with her,
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Yes i had told him all of what i posted here... i tried so hard to let him know how i was feeling...
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