He wants a "level playing field".....
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| Fri, 08-08-2008 - 4:28am |
this is my situation and I need help on what I should do.......
my husband and I will be married for 8 years in November. Back in 03', I did something very stupid and I cheated on him with a one night stand. He found out about it and has never let me forget about it. Well just recently about 2 months now he has been hanging out with his friend every weekend and leaving after he gets home from work for a couple of hours. He is constantly talking about one of my friends, how he can "screw' her if he wanted to and all kinds of stuff. I can't take it anymore, I told him that I was tired of hearing about it and if he wanted to do that he should move out. Then he came out and told me that if I wanted our marriage to work that I should give him permission to go out and 'screw' someone so that we are on a 'level playing field' and then go get counseling. What am I supposed to do, he doesn't realize that just him talking about doing this is killing me inside. It doesn't have anything really even to do with the act, just thinking about it is killing me.

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I guess his cheating on you was almost obvious... I'm really sorry. Your husband is a complete jerk. He has no intentions of being mature or constructive, and as expected, leveling the playing field did NOT make things better - it made them worse. He still thinks this is your fault. The fact that he has to have an affair and then rub it in your face means that he's still not over it.
I can only hope that this marriage is over - You deserve better than this. Please find a counselor for yourself who can help you to make the best choice. Your husband took the low road and is still refusing to make constructive steps toward fixing your marriage, it will not be fixed until that happens and in five years it has not. It has to take the effort of two.
One last thought. Are you sure he actually cheated and is not just saying so?
I think he is trying to take the coward's way out of the marriage (coerce you to leave him).
eggbert said:
I'm confused...its okay that you did it but he can't??? HHHmmmm........quandry for sure. I think he is trying to make a point and its working. He wants you to feel the way he did when he found about your affair. I say turn the tables on him and allow him to "screw" (that's classy for sure...)someone and see what he does. At least if he does you are on a level playing field and my guess he's just blowing hot air and won't do it. This is all very immature on both your parts.
I also suggest you consider ending this relationship. He will NEVER forgive your affair and will always bring it up to you. Is this how you want to live your life???
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