he wont kiss me?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2006
he wont kiss me?!
7
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 4:31pm
So I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years. September 5th. He will NOT kiss me anymore. I will goto kiss him and he will pull back, I can't even put my lips on his at all. I know it isn't my breath because I am very good in keeping my mouth clean. We have sex but it is not as good for me anymore because kissing is one thing that has always turned me on cause we were both good kissers. It has me embarassed when I goto kiss him and he pulls back, it isn't like we are in public, we are home together when he does this. I talk to him and he says nothing. It has been going on for about a month now and we have been living together for about 2 1/2 months.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: mn9502
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 5:03pm

Welcome to the board mn9502,


So you ask him why he pulls away and he doesn't answer you? I would demand an answer from him.


Are there any other changes you have noticed in the relationship? Has he been pulling away from you in other ways as well?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
In reply to: mn9502
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 5:18pm
He doesnt have any explanation?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
In reply to: mn9502
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 5:42pm
So he has stopped kissing you around the same time that you moved in together. Ask him if these 2 things are related. Do you think he is overwhelmed with the move or feels you spend too much time together?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2006
In reply to: mn9502
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 10:51pm
We do not spend ANY time together. Just the drive to and from work. On weekends we go nowhere because he never wants to do anything with me. I will try to plan something and ask him if he wants to do what I plan or I'll ask him to plan something and the answer is always NO. He has gotten more of an attitude since we moved in together. Not abusive just an attitude. I will dress up and look nice and at the end of the day I still receive no compliment unless I say something. If I
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
In reply to: mn9502
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 7:26am
Sorry mn I just don't think he's that interested in you anymore.
You've tried talking to him and reasoning with him and even not-so-subtle tactics. He doesn't want to try, or to understand what's wrong. He's not interested enough.
If this is what his attitude is going to be, then the relationship is on its way out the door.
Is there a possibility that he is trying to push you into breaking up with him? I've seen a lot of men and some women who do that.
You should attend counseling yourself if possible - lots of people do when they need some answers or direction in their life.


Edited 6/20/2008 7:27 am ET by eggbertshootsfire
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2006
In reply to: mn9502
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 9:32am
thank you so much. You have helped a lot. I always need a second opinion and I agree with you when you say he is not interested in me anymore. And I do think he is trying to push me to break up with him. It makes me so mad though because I am still attracted to him in everyway until he opens his mouth or shows who he really is. But I have to do what I have to do and I am going to goto counseling for myself. Thank you everyone!
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mn9502
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 10:21am

Well, this is a new response from him, and it seems to have arisen very shortly after you moved in together. Sometimes when a couple moves in together it has different effects on one or the other of them. Some men begin to feel claustrophobic, or that now they are a family unit, or things are becoming too committed. I don't know his background, but clearly his pulling back is a form of withdrawal and also rejection of some kind of intimacy with you. You need to bring it out in the open and work on it. Find out what he's feeling and why. Discuss it. Let him know how it makes you feel. It is an expression of something deeper and you need to understand what it is.


All good wishes,