HE WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
HE WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!
2
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 3:03pm
I LEFT MY BOYFRIEND ALONE IT'S BEEN A MONTH, LAST FRIDAY HE CALLED AND I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE ME ALONE UNTIL HE GETS HIMSELF SOME HELP, UNTIL THEN I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO HIM PERIOD. HE CALL AGAIN THAT SUNDAY, SAYING HE WAS JUST CALLING TO SEE HOW I WAS DOING I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE ME ALONE UNTIL HE TOOK HIS LAST DOSE OF METHODONE AND HUNG UP. HE CALLED THIS SUNDAY AND JUST WAS BREATHING ON THE PHONE AND HUNG UP, THEN HE CALLED ME EARLY THIS MORNING (FROM A STRANGE NUMBER) (LIKE ALWAYS) ASKING IF I HAVE HIS DRIVING RECORD. I SAID HELL NO! AND HUNG UP!! WHAT IS THE PROBLEM HERE, WHY DO HE STILL SONSTANTLY CAL ME! AFTER I TOLD HIM CALL ME WHEN YOU GET YOURSELF TOGETHER.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 4:09pm
Block his number. Don't answer the phone. Screen your calls.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Tue, 04-27-2004 - 1:49pm
If you keep qualifying why he cant call, he's still going to unfortunately.

I dont know this entire situation, if you want to get back with him at a later date (as it sounds) because of a problem. The best way for him to solve this problem though is to realize that his past decisions caused damage to the past relationship and that you will not tolerate living in that way again. Easiest way to do that is to say "dont ever call me anymore, period."

Dont qualify it, otherwise, he's going to keep on, thinking that he can get you to change your mind and come back earlier. It doesnt sound as if he's trying very much from what you put. If he put as much attention into fixing his issue as he does harrassing you when he is this way, then he might have made leaps already. Its pulling his focus from what he needs to be staring at.

If there are qualifications on the relationship, then the best thing to do is to break it off completely until those are met. Then he cant 'present himself to you' like a shiny penny with "See how fixed I am?" To trust that he had gone past an issue, the best way would be to see him begin to succeed in his regular life. Then you might choose to become part of it again. My ex who was an alcoholic used to "change" daily.

If you dont know the number, dont answer. Get an answering service or machine. Change your number. Etc....

But unfortunately, alot of the time they will continue to do this if they think there is ANY chance they can get you back. Where you qualify it with "when you do this" they know there is still a chance they can get you back and they wont move on with their life. He needs to fix him first, and that needs his total concentration.