He Won't Make Time For Me!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
He Won't Make Time For Me!!!
6
Sat, 05-19-2007 - 9:24pm
I have this boyfriend of only 2 months. He will not make time for me. He's a cop so I understand that his schedule is hectic, but I feel so depressed and sad. I was just starting to fall in love with him. I know he's not cheating on me because he's not the cheating type. I have talked to him about this and he said that he'll try harder to make our relationship work. That was 4 days ago....and I've barely heard from him (2 minute conversation last night). And by the way---we haven't been on a date since Monday May 7th!!! What would you do in this situation??? Try harder or just dump him and get it over with??? Or am I being unreasonable???
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sat, 05-19-2007 - 10:18pm

To be honest, it sounds as though he's just not that into you.

Move on.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 05-19-2007 - 10:30pm

Welcome to the board jlr1683,


If a guy wants to see you, is all into you, believe me, he WILL make time for you and if this is already happening at the two month mark, that is not a good sign.






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-20-2007 - 1:43am

I agree with the other posters. It sounds like you were probably starting to have the chemical/bodily changes (actual changes in your brain and in your body's chemistry have been demonstrated in studies) that are what people call "falling in love." When you lose the person you were having this physical reaction to, you often become clinically depressed and sometimes even suicidal. PLEASE, get help if it gets that bad! We can list places for you to call if you like.

When guys are into their job that much, as it sounds as though this guy is from your post, they may not be into having a serious relationship.

I would suggest that you take care of YOU and move on if you are looking for something more than he has to give you.


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2007
Sun, 05-20-2007 - 4:03pm
I just ended a 3 moth relationship which sounds a lot like your situation. Unfortunately I was not aware he never had any intention of spending any time with me. He was studing for his boards and very busy. The relationship started very intense and he seemed crazy about, me , but I saw less and less (since he was so busy). After the boards he went partying with his friends instead of celebrating with me, so I realized that I must have been his study distraction. At the end, I was at the botom of his list of priorities. Guys might tell you what you want to hear at the time, but you have to listen to your gut and watch their actions. Actions speak louder that words. Maybe some women might be ok with this arrangement of keeping you on the back burner, but if you feel sad, you need more and you deserve to have that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
Sat, 05-26-2007 - 2:46pm
thank you for your advice--knowing that i'm not the only person in this situation makes me feel better so thanks...
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-27-2007 - 8:50pm

It seems clear that he's not interested in or ready for the kind of relationship you want. In fact, if you haven't seen him since May 7th that's a long time. He may already be out of the relationship in his mind. It doesn't matter what he says, look at his behavior. He's not there. Don't hold onto a dream or fantasy and above all don't chase after him. The harder you chase, the further he'll run. Let him run. Let him go. Find yourself someone who feels the way you do and wants you as much as you want him. This situation is unhealthy and seems to be a trap for you.


Best wishes,