help

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2011
help
13
Mon, 12-05-2011 - 8:23pm

I have been happily married for twelve years, (or so I thought) until I found myself in the arms of my daughters'doctor, who has been our family gp for the last seven years. My daughter was born with severe disabilities and I had told my doctor how I felt about him about four years ago. The feeling was mutual, but nothing could be done about it, as we were both in long term marriages and he was our family gp. Before our family went overseas for six weeks, I found myself in his arms telling him how much I loved him in an appointment. The scary thing was, he didn't push me away. It is now a pretty good memory, actually.

This doctor had provided support in saving my daughters life when she was three months old.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: 363susie
Mon, 12-05-2011 - 9:54pm

I think that if at all possible (unless there is no other medical specialist in the area who could provide care for your DD) you should not go back to this dr.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
In reply to: 363susie
Mon, 12-05-2011 - 11:39pm

I agree with musiclover.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2011
In reply to: 363susie
Tue, 12-06-2011 - 1:02am

As stated, we had a recognised understanding of how we each felt, pretty much from the beginning. Along with an understanding that nothing was going to happen.

When I told him how I felt, I expected him to refer me on, I didn't expect him to acknowledge he felt the same. That really confused me for awhile.

It has not been a one sided thing of advancement on my side only. There was also an occasion in front of other patients, which involved my husband, and nearly got him bashed up by my furious husband.

I have thoroughly examined things, and find it hard to believe I can be vomiting from not seeing him, if it was only 'gratitude I felt,' I should not be vomiting from not seeing him.

The other thing no one unless they are a parent of a child with a rare illness can understand, is that what I have lost, is his personal knowledge on my daughters condition. He has actually studied it, and read up on it, and that is irreplaceable. Even though there are doctors around I can go to, it is his personal knowledge I am going to miss. I basically have to put seven years of training into another doctor.

Also I have started seeing a councellor, and they want me to put in a complaint, as does my husband. Not only have I lost his medical skills, my husband has said I will lose him if I go back to doc, and now I am asked to betray the guy that has given our family so much medical help over seven years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2006
In reply to: 363susie
Tue, 12-06-2011 - 7:43am

"now I am asked to betray the guy that has given our family so much medical help over seven years."

But betraying the guy that vowed to love and cherish you forever is okay?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: 363susie
Tue, 12-06-2011 - 8:21am

The other thing no one unless they are a parent of a child with a rare illness can understand, is that what I have lost, is his personal knowledge on my daughters condition. He has actually studied it, and read up on it, and that is irreplaceable. Even though there are doctors around I can go to, it is his personal knowledge I am going to miss.

IMHO, the man acted inappropriately, as a medical professional, to have more than a doctor-patient/patient's family relationship with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
In reply to: 363susie
Tue, 12-06-2011 - 9:16am

"

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
In reply to: 363susie
Tue, 12-06-2011 - 12:40pm

Whether you believe it or not, it's misplaced gratitude.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2011
In reply to: 363susie
Tue, 12-06-2011 - 4:06pm

I guess we'll have to disagree on that one. I would have felt the same for him if he had been the greengrocer down the street. We laughed at the same things, had fun when we were together and thats just how it was. Even for fun we used to think things, and the other person would say what it was that had been thought, and we always got it right. His nickname for me was ''his other wife.''

I did not throw myself at him, it just happened,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: 363susie
Tue, 12-06-2011 - 4:44pm

I have been so miserable over it all, I have been vomiting since not seeing him at all. I am not sure if he has only said we can come back purely because he is scared I will report him, or if he does actually care still.

No, I have never vomitted because I miss someone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
In reply to: 363susie
Tue, 12-06-2011 - 5:23pm

Listen. I tried to be supportive in my reply, but I have to say, I HATE the way you are attacking fissatore because you don't want to look at the truth.

You are whining about "vomiting" all the time but I think you're using "I am so sad I vomit" as a plea for sympathy. I'm sorry you are causing yourself to vomit over this situation. You want to stop vomiting? Move forward with your life and stop dwelling on a situation that is causing you to be physically ill.

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