help

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2003
help
1
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 11:27am
I have a longterm friendship you can say with a male friend of mines. We have been together for 4 years and It seems like I'm the only one making effort in this relationship. Since recently my birthday had past and he didn't even call nor give me anything. Know even though we are not soley a couple I expected just the acknowledgement. He didn't give at all. But today is his birthday and I feel like I shouldn't call. My special day wasn't special all because of this person. What should I do? I have notice his every move, even when it balls down to doing things together that's how he is I don't want to accept this, but I care for him alot.I don't want to seem like the person I not because I just want to a least say happy birthday, but I feel I shouldn't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
In reply to: isexywar
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 12:14pm
I say don't obsess over it. Just "casually" (wink wink) forget to acknowledge his birthday. If he says anything about it, don't make it seem like it was revenge for not having yours observed. Just simply say, "Oh, I'm sorry. It slipped my mind. I didn't really focus on it because I assumed that you weren't into the whole birthday acknowledgement thing. I must have misunderstood. Maybe I can make it up next year." And then leave it at that. That way you never called him out directly for forgetting yours but you let him know that if he sets a precedent, not to expect special treatment that he isn't willing to give.

If he doesn't bring it up, maybe he doesn't think you guys are close enough to even celebrate those things together. That lets you know a lot about your relationship and where you stand. And just a little FYI...he may have ignored your day because he sees you as just a friend with no expressed committment to each other.