HELP!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2003
HELP!!!
12
Sat, 12-20-2003 - 2:03pm
I have been dating my boyfriend for a 1 1/2 and 1 year of that we have been dating long distance. We get along good and everything is great when we are in the same state with each other. Last week when I was helping him send an e-mail for a job I saw an e-mail from a dating website, knowing I shouldn't be nosey I opened it and read it. He had signed up for a dating website with a profile. I didn't know what to do or think or what. So I snooped a little more and went into the website and saw his profile. My question is do I confront him about this?? How do I bring it up?? I'm not sure what to feel right now about this and I just want to yell at him now but I know that's not right. I shouldn't have been reading his e-mail but....What do I do? He will be in town next week and we will be together for a week and a half and I rather confront him in person. Do I find out where we stand with us then maybe bring it up or hint around to it or what? I am so confused right now...I know he has never cheated on me, we have many talks about that issue because of our relationship. But I am not sure what to think about the dating website issue, is he just weighing his options or what...he hasn't fully signed about so he is very limited to what he can do with the website so far....Does anyone have any advice? Sorry for the long story......

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
In reply to: holidaybaby2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 12:39pm
Wow, I'd confront him immediately! You dont even have to say you were snooping, his profile is public, right? YOu saw it! what is it doing up there? Don't prentend like everything is ok when its not, get this out in the open or its going to eat you up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2003
In reply to: holidaybaby2003
Fri, 01-16-2004 - 3:22pm
I got an update for everyone.....When we were visiting each other recently he was checking his e-mail while I was picking up the room. I had replied to an e-mail of his and it was in his inbox and he asked me what I had said before he opened it and the e-mail above it was an e-mail from that date service. I didn't know what to do and I got mad/quiet and kinda of pretended like I didn't see it. He gets a lot of junk e-mails and I said what's that from some dating website and he got all pissy and said I told you I get all these junk e-mails all the time. (He does tell me this all the time and he doesn't know how to stop all the spam.) Anyways I seemed kind of aggervated and quiet for the next 15 minutes or so, then we layed down to watch a movie and then he confessed that he was bored at work one day (which he is really bored at work and that is part of the reason he is looking for a new job) and that he was messing around one day and signed up and to use the site fully you have to pay for it. He said he has been trying to cancel it doesn't remember the log in. He said he would never cheat on me and that he wasn't serious about the site. I told him thanks for being honest with me. But I know that he hasn't cancelled it yet and I think he still checks it out once and awhile. Maybe because he is still bored at work and just messing around. Should I still make this an issue or just drop it?

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