Your DH sounds very immature, and he likes to play the victim. He should man up and stop putting everything on you. Tell him that to be a man, he must provide for his family first, above all else. If that means he has to pound the pavement 8 hours a day to find a job, then that is what he must do, not moan and complain and blame, and act like a spoiled brat and break his musical instruments in a fit of temper like a 2 year old. Tell him that. He needs to be shamed into acting like a man, not placated. He wouldn't be so depressed if met his responsiblities and stopped feeling sorry for himself. If he truly is medically depressed, then he should man up, go to the doctor, and take care of that as well.
When you get a tax refund, it should go to paying off debt, and to a savings account
I know I need to get a backbone... i'm not proud of the way that I let him control the situations and the emotions... if he is having a bad day we all have a bad day... i'm just afraid of him leaving or trying to commit sucide like he tried on one of my birthdays... I asked him to go to the Dr to get help and he refuses to go... I asked if he would go to marraige counceling with me and he doesnt want to do that either... i'm really torn... I really love this man with all of my heart... I just dont know how to make him happy... thank you for the replies...
You can't make someone else happy. We all have to do that for ourselves. You can bring many good things to a relationship - companionship, love, sharing life, sexual intimacy, support, encouragement, and laughter but you can't fix someone who is depressed, lazy, unmotivated, or bad-tempered. You just don't have that much power over another human being. When you are see those attributes in another person, don't marry him.
Since you are already married, then you only have a few options: 1) Get counseling alone or together. If he won't go that's a dead end but you can go yourself to find ways to cope.
Welcome to the board sneezy34,
My advice: Quit kissing his butt.
Your DH sounds very immature, and he likes to play the victim. He should man up and stop putting everything on you. Tell him that to be a man, he must provide for his family first, above all else. If that means he has to pound the pavement 8 hours a day to find a job, then that is what he must do, not moan and complain and blame, and act like a spoiled brat and break his musical instruments in a fit of temper like a 2 year old. Tell him that. He needs to be shamed into acting like a man, not placated. He wouldn't be so depressed if met his responsiblities and stopped feeling sorry for himself. If he truly is medically depressed, then he should man up, go to the doctor, and take care of that as well.
When you get a tax refund, it should go to paying off debt, and to a savings account
You can't make someone else happy. We all have to do that for ourselves. You can bring many good things to a relationship - companionship, love, sharing life, sexual intimacy, support, encouragement, and laughter but you can't fix someone who is depressed, lazy, unmotivated, or bad-tempered. You just don't have that much power over another human being. When you are see those attributes in another person, don't marry him.
Since you are already married, then you only have a few options: 1) Get counseling alone or together. If he won't go that's a dead end but you can go yourself to find ways to cope.
2) Let him leave if that's what he thinks