Help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
Help!
4
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 4:42pm

My fiance and I have been together for 3 years now and engaged for 1 year. We are getting married in a couple of months.

Before I met him I dated one other boy for 2 weeks, so I don't really consider that a relationship. Besides that I haven't had any other relationships.

The problem I am having is that I find myself thinking about other men. Don't get me wrong! I would NEVER cheat on my partner. But I always have thought about what my life would be like if I would have dated another guy. Specifically, I will think about his friends, because I will find some traits in his friends that I wish that he had. So, it gets me thinking..."What would my life have been like if I had met that other guy sooner"...or something to that effect.

I feel AWFUL thinking this way. I want to be committed and totally in love with my soon to be husband. But I can't stop these thoughts every now and then. I've been thinking this way for a few months now. Am I just unsatisfied? I am afraid to bring up this topic to him because we've talked about this before and we almost broke up!

Please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
In reply to: randi_pie
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 5:13pm
How old are the two of you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: randi_pie
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 5:41pm

Welcome to the board randi_pie,


I would postpone the wedding until you are sure you want to get married and that you will be happy.


In my opinion, some individual counseling would help you work through why you are having these feelings. Sounds like it could be cold feet or that you want experience what dating around feels like before you get married.


No matter what it turns out to be don't get married until this is resolved.


Good luck to you.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
In reply to: randi_pie
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 7:37pm
Do not get married if you are already feeling like you are missing out on something - it doesn't go away because you say "I do." I got married very young and believe me you don't even begin to know who you are or waht you want until you get older. I don't think this is the guy for you. He just happens to be the one you're with. Not all relationships are meant to last forever - that's why people date. Life is too short to make a commitment you are not absolutely certain about and even those who are absolutely certain going in often regret it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
In reply to: randi_pie
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 9:34pm
The both of us are 23 years old.