Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Help
7
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 9:24pm
Hello, I am in need of something here and im not sure what. SO i dated a guy for 6 years off and on and he was never ready for a relationship. Well his best friend/co worker/roomate and i have been friends for years. The bf is in love with me and has been for years. Recently we have started dating., My friends and family have pushed me to date him, everyone says its about time. Well he told my ex how he feels about me. So we have gone out a few times. Last night i went to their house for the 1st time. My ex greeted me with kisses and hugs. So i went outside with Sean and my ex follows us. We go back in and order food and so on. Most of the night my ex was busy or on the phone. But he would come out and talk to me about his family issues and then go away. COme back out sit next to me on the couch and stare at me. Then go back away in his room. Im confused on the situation. I dont know if confused is the word. I know i am not in love with the guy i just started dating and i have told him that. Alot of my friends thinks my ex will try and get me back since he sees how happy i make his bf. Me and my ex broke up in OCT 2004. So i am confused on what to do. I do want to be friends with my ex. BUt i didnt expect as much out of him as he did last night. He also invited me over if we get hit with a hurricane. And he turned to Sean the bf and said i am trying to be nice, what did she say. Everytime i am on the phone with sean my ex is up his butt in the background? The only person who has an issue is the ex's current person he is dating,
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: cherry0125
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 10:27pm

Welcome to the board cherry0125,


My observation after reading your post, which probably won't help much, is that there are way too many people involved in your relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2008
In reply to: cherry0125
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 10:28pm
well, what I think is that the x is now seeing another side of u. I bet he thought u could not live without him and now you are right in front of him. he's jealous. he will claim that he don't care, but like you said every time u call his bf he is up his butt, because he is nosey and he wants to know what is going on. I would sit down with the bf, alone or away from their house, and seriously asked him if he really wants to date u. and of course if u are really interested in him, the bf, just do it away from the x. or you can be evil and give him want, the bf, what you would have gave the x if he was with u. let him realize what he is missing out on, U!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
In reply to: cherry0125
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 10:34pm
Thank you for your posts. In away i laugh since my ex has been seeing her for months and would rather dump her now that i have gone over 1 time. He says he wants us to be happy. My friends think my ex might want me back and this is his door to get to me..
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
In reply to: cherry0125
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 7:27am







Thanks for the post. It is an odd place to be that i know. But my ex did dump the girl he has been seeing so if she mattered i guess one of them would have tried putting up a fight. But Sean and I have been very very close for years. I find it funny that my ex is now following him around and in the background when we are on the phone. My ex even asked him how things are going with us? Im like ok then. My ex wasnt like this when he and I dated. Some of my friends think that now I dont want the ex that he wants me. The men want what they cant have. He knows i am faithful and a good women. It is still new to me. Sean is in love with me and has been for 3 years. He knows im not in love with him, but I do care for him. We all im sure will feel easier about things once my ex and I get a normal friendship back. But i just need to not go over alot until then, even though that is what Sean wants. Sean wants my ex and I to be friends. Since last summer he is what ended to friendship me an my ex had over the way their friendship was going.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: cherry0125
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 11:31am
If you aren't that into your new bf than stop seeing him. It almost sounds like you are using him to try to get your ex back. Which isn't fair to him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
In reply to: cherry0125
Thu, 09-11-2008 - 9:31pm
Ok so things are getting wierd with my ex now. I have been over the house a few times to hang with the guy i am dating. But my ex is asking him questions like how are we doing and are we happy. We have been dating like 2 weeks? That was last week he asked. This week he is asking why we dont hold hands and things like that? Im not sure why he is asking these questions. I mean he and i are talking when i am over there. We have fun as a group. Me and Sean are doing good. We talk all the time and see each other a few times a week. He and i were best friends for years. So i am wondering what is your opinion on why the ex would be asking so many questions?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
In reply to: cherry0125
Mon, 09-15-2008 - 7:40am

Trust me im not trying to rub my ex's nose in anything. He and i have always been able to be friends when we werent dating. BUt last year a friend of ours was having issues with him and asked me to help so i did and my ex and i stopped being friends.


But Sean wants us to be friends, they have been best friends for 19 years. We dont only meet at their house only 1 or 2 days a week. I live alone and i do have him hear as well. BUt i also need to be comfortable with my ex when i go there. We are getting a friendship back. BUt my ex worries about so many things. I left early over the weekend and my ex asked if it was because he went to sleep early. No i was bored. But he is always asking questions about things. I mean he has a lady friend who is just a friend but when she comes over i dont. My ex dont care, but i really could care less for this women since i have known her for awhile. Im just wondering if anyone has ever dated their ex bff and had this type of situation. I have two friends who have but their ex's and got married, but never acted strange like mine.