Help am I being fooled

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Help am I being fooled
4
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 7:47am
About 3 months ago I met this guy. I was separted from my husband and his girlfriend just moved out. I even helped him pack up her stuff. We became friends but then we got intimate. We have a great time and we hang out a lot. He has been very clear that right now he does not want to date and likes the arrangement we have. Well the old girlfriend wants back in his life. He has already taken her back once and he has told me up and down he is not going to take her back. Well last night I went to go over his house and she was there and I know she stayed over, but he still took my phonecall and said I could come over if I wanted. He says they are just friends and he is trying to work out closure. What should I do. I really like him, but I am no one's second choice. I just can't seem to stop thinking about him.

Out of control...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 8:17am

He has been up front with you about your relationship so I don't see him as "fooling" you, but you "fooling" yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 9:46am
'He has been very clear that right now he does not want to date and likes the arrangement we have.'

So how are you being fooled? Maybe he led you to believe that he is over his ex when he isn't but he is probably confused about how he feels about her. Regardless, he does not want a relationship with you.

It sounds like both of you are on the rebound.

What else is going on in your life to help you with your breakup and transition? Work,school, friends, volunteering?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 10:49am
I dont think hes playing you because he was upfront with you about everything that was going on and exactely what he was loking to get out of his relationship with you.It also seems like hes being honst with you abou thwats goin on now..If hes that good of a freind, trust him..

~*Cl-marsexpert*~


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"TRUE LOVE DOES NOT COME BY FINDING THE PERFECT PERSON, BUT RATHER LEARNING TO SEE AN IMPERFECT PERSON PERFECTLY." Unknown

 

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 10:53am

As he said to you, this guy is not "complete" with his old relationship. The fact that she was there again shows that he is not done, and still has things to work out. His allowing you to come when she was there was unkind to both you, a power play of sorts - saying that he really didn't need either one. I would back out of this relationship at this time. It never works to be the inbetween, go between relationship, helping someone to break off with someone else. Obviously he needs time to work out all his feelings. He is not ready for an intimate relationship with someone new.


When two people become intimate a bond develops and honesty and trust are needed at this point. It is unwise to develop a bond like this with someone who is not ready, who cannot be trusted and who is going back and forth.


Take good care of yourself.


Best wishes.