HELP the HELPLESS

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2004
HELP the HELPLESS
1
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 1:17am
My man hardly expresses himself. I know he's been through a lot in his past that i don't wanna mention but he hardly shows feelings and he just said some messed up stuff yesterday that had me upset. To sum it up he mentioned about it's a female role to do her mans laundry. He says this b/c he didn't finish high school and i'm going to college tryin to do me and he feels i'll be making da money so i'll be da one wearin da pants in da relationship and i can also do his laundry. I mean it aint just that he use to live in a different state and he use to smoke weed 24/7 ever since he started talking to me he stopped and then before he made da commitment of moving here to NY and stuff he smoked wit his cousin and now he is feening for it again. He works wit co-workers where all they do is drink and smoke and he just drank last night and wants to smoke weed again but knows my mom don't stand for dat and will kick him out if he does bc he's livin wit us. What should i do? I love him to death but it's like i don't want to tell him off and he goes for another girl by gettin upset. I want to be with him but i just don't know how to handle the situation and he is not all affectionate as well.

Signed, Sabrina


Edited 7/27/2004 1:32 am ET ET by bxgirl4life
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 1:44am

its sounds to me like he is expressing himself just fine. sounds like you and he are just on different pages (or books?)


he thinks its a woman's job to do the laundry and you don't agree


you are investing time and effort and money into getting an education - he isn't


he spends his time and money on drugs and drinking - you do other things.


and he is also not an affectionate guy


and you are with him ----why?


I don't know how old you are, but if you want my advice - kick him out, stay in college, get an education, get yourself set in a career track and become financially independent. in the meantime - i'm sure there are plenty of nice people at your college with whom you can become friendly - not just bf/gf - but "friends". people to talk with, go to movies, etc.