Help! My DH lies to me so much!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Help! My DH lies to me so much!
3
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 5:58pm

Help! My husband chooses to lie to me about *so many* things! And I have a hard time forgiving him for lying because before I've gotten a chance to forgive, he's lied about something ELSE!

How do I get my husband to stop lying for good? ... before I give up and stop trying to connect with him. I don't understand what it is about me that makes me so unapproachable or makes it difficult to be truthful to? Whatever it is, how can I shed that image so that I project an approachable and loving image? I try so hard and he doesn't seem to be trying...

Just yesterday he said he could relate to me because of a similar situation in his last relationship but the tables were turned. So if he's seen my side of things, why can't he be more sympathetic and helpful in the situation?

Thanks!
~Rachel

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 6:19pm

Welcome to the board rjones915,


You can't get your husband to stop lying.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 6:49pm
Thank you for the advice! I will look into both books and talk to my husband. I mentioned counseling before but he doesn't seem to think we need it!? I believe if I emphasize that one line, "If you continue to lie to me, I will be unable to trust you and our marriage will be over. Not because I want to but because I have no choice, the lying will break me." I've already been emphasizing about how it makes me feel when he lies and he even says he feels stupid when he lies because he knows how I feel. But he keeps on doing it anyways...
Again, Thanks for the advice!

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 6:57pm
He needs professional help to determine why he lies so much. You cant have a relationship if the basis of the intimacy is lying.